Melanoma Monday

I guess just because black is not pink, the bureaucrats at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ National Health Information Center have decreed that we at The Hotel Melanoma have to share our cancer awareness month with the larger “skin cancer” world. (Which a lot of us think contributes to melanoma’s wimpy image as a safe and easy cancer that’s just really not all that serious, so “wtf” let’s light up those cancer incubating tanning beds.) But The American Academy of Dermatology has thrown us a bone by declaring this to be “Melanoma Monday”. Gee, thanks.

Personally, I don’t deal well with authority and see no reason whatsoever why the Paler Nation shouldn’t seize the stage for the entire month. Having suffered through watching Tim Tebow play whatever position he plays in pink cleats last October, I believe we’re entitled.

I’ll leave you with The Hotel Melanoma version of The Allman Brothers Band’s “Stormy Monday”…



They call it Black C Monday
But ... Tuesday it’s as bad
They call it Black C Monday
But Tuesday it’s as bad
Lord ... and Wednesday's worse
And Thursday's also sad

Fool people fry on Friday
Saturday they go out to braise
Fool people fry on Friday
And Saturday they go out to braise
Sunday they go to church, yeah
Where they need now to pray

Lord have mercy
Lord have mercy on we
Lord have mercy
Lord have mercy on we
Though we’re tryin' ... tryin' to mend this Black C
Won't somebody please end its bad ass spree

Oh, no