Introduction

The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.



Tutu Brothers

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Have a Drink on Me



This Saturday is my 12th “cancerversary” of completing biochemotherapy treatments for Stage IIIc melanoma and beginning a very blessed run with no evidence of disease. I so wish I could bottle my good fortune and hand it out by the case to my melahomies. Obviously I can’t, but the drinks are on me Saturday night at the Hotel Melanoma lobby bar.

Hoping that the F.D.A.’s recent approval of Yervoy as an adjuvant treatment for Stage III patients will lead to many, many more treatment success stories like my own, I’ll sign off with my take on AC/DC’s “Have a Drink on Me”…



Frisky, skinned and dandy
With the sass I'm pretty handy
I'm trying to walk the pale line
With panache and cheap rhymes
So join me for a drink, boys
We're gonna make a big noise

So don't worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the check
We'll get Mel to pay

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah, have a drink on me
Have a drink on me (on me)
Come on

Dizzy, ‘drunk’ and fightin'
On the chemo quite frightnin'
My mass will get no quarter
On risky nights of slaughter
So come on and have a good time
And get blinded out of your mind

So don't worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the check
We'll get Mel to pay

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me (on me)
Get stoned

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me (yeah)
Have a drink on me,come on

Oh

Gonna roll around
Gonna hit the ground
Take another swing
Have another drink
Gonna drink it dry
Gonna get me high
Come on all the boys
Make a noise

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me

Have a drink on me

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Fun with Free Skin Checks



As some of you may have surmised from certain unauthorized photos posted on social media, I participated in a melanoma walk last weekend at The University of Arizona Cancer Center in Tucson. (Yes, golf was most certainly a factor in my choosing this particular event, although the way I played down there I don’t know why.) Having arrived at the event with time to kill before walking, I decided to sashay into the dermatology clinic to take advantage of a free skin check. (And with my new sky-high insurance deductible, courtesy of Obamacare, free is a very good thing indeed.) The looks on the faces of various clinic staff members that were ‘attracted’ by my black tutu were simply priceless.

Until next time, I’ll sign off with the Hotel Melanoma rendition of “Daydream Believer” from The Monkees…



Oh, I could hide 'neath the strings
Of the blue gown as she clings.
The skin check doc’s alarm would never ring.
But it rings from my fries,
Wipe the weep out of my eyes.
Thy shavin' razor's cold and it stings.

Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.

You once thought of me
As a white fright on news feed.
Now you know how sappy I can be.
Oh, and our ‘good times’ start and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.

Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.
Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.

Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.
Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.