All I Want For Christmas Is A Clear Brain Scan

From Alvin & The Chipmunks…



Doc: “What’s the matter, patient, you don’t look happy? Why?”
Patient: “Oh, Doc, you know”
Doc: “But you got all those expensive treatments, wasn’t that trial what you wanted?”
Patient: "All I want for Christmas
Is a clear brain scan,
My skin ain’t tan,
Hope my cancer ran!

Gee, if I could only
Have a clear brain scan,
Then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."
It seems so long since I could play
Jimmy Buffett, lounging on a beach chair
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
If I could only sizzle.

All I want for Christmas
Is a clear brain scan,
My skin ain’t tan,
Need insurance plan.
Gee, if I could only
Have those tan beds banned,
Then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas!"

It seems so long since I could say,
'Hey Bartender, one more Margarita!'
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
If I could only sizzle (ssssss, ssssss)

All I want for Christmas
Is prescriptions banned,
No more Zofran,
Toss my Ativan.

Gee, if I could only
Have insurance plan,
Then I could wish you
Merry Chris, Chris, Chris, a Happy New Year!"