Breakout With Mick

I’m feeling more than a little frustrated with oncologists and the laissez faire pointlessness of my recent appointments with these folks, so I’m plotting my escape from The Hotel Melanoma. My favorite melanoma clinic lost me in an exam room for about an hour the other day, and never would’ve found me had I not finally “prairie dogged” and walked out into the clinic halls in my blue gown to inquire if my doc was going to see me that day. Their apologetic story was that my name had somehow been “erased from the board” so they didn’t know they had a patient waiting. I can’t help but wonder if they were referring to a dartboard used as a substitute for any standard follow-up protocol.

Eventually, I was pronounced well after a five-minute physical examination and sent on my way. So I think I may permanently erase my name from their board, pronounce myself cured, and get free and more convenient follow-up care by showing up at local health fairs that offer melanoma screenings and such. My health insurance provider would be so pleased if I did.

Hoping for a cure that will enable all of my mole mates to break out of this place, I’ll end today’s rant with The Hotel Melanoma version of The Rolling Stones’ “She’s So Cold”…



I'm so hot for cure, I'm so hot for cure
I'm so hot for cure and C’s so cold
I'm so hot for cure, I'm on fire for cure
I'm so hot for cure and C's so cold

I'm the burning bush, I'm the burning fire
I'm the bleeding volcano
I'm so hot for cure, I'm so hot for cure
I'm so hot for cure ‘cuz C gets old

Yes, I’d try re-wiring cure, try re-firing cure
I think cure engine is permanently stalled
C’s so old C’s so old
C's so cold cold cold
Like a tombstone
C’s so cold, C’s so old
C’s so bold bold bold, I’m in sunscreen zone
C’s so old C’s so cold
And when I seek cure my plan’s just froze

Yeah, I'm so hot so hot for cure, I'm so hot for cure
I'm so hot for cure and grievin' so
Punt your butt on the street, punt your butt on the street
Aw C'mon Black C, just go

C’s so cold, C’s so cold, cold, C’s so c-c-c-old
’Cuz C’s plentiful bold

Yeah, we're so moled

C's so cold, C’s so cold
I think C was born as the devil’s own
C's so cold C's so cold, cold, cold
And when I seek cure my plan’s just froze

C's so cold, C's so goddamn cold C's so
Cold cold cold C's so cold

Who would believe you were a devil indeed
When your days are over and your fright’s long gone
Fright fades and the pain’s lost
Nobody will know, when they’re told
When they’re told, nobody will know
That you was a devil, a fleet sneak devil
A fleet sneak devil, so stone stone cold

You're so cold, you're so cold, cold, cold
You're so cold, you're so cold

I'm so shot with you, I'm so shot with you
I'm so shot with you and you're so old

I'm the burning bush, I'm the burning fire
I'm the bleeding volcano