Hey Dude

From the May 2012 edition of The Skin Cancer Foundation Journal:

“While for women the number of melanoma deaths has decreased in recent years, among white men 50 years of age and older, the number is climbing; melanoma is one of only three cancers with an increasing mortality rate for men.”

And there’s a reason for that. About 65% of melanomas are associated with exposure to the sun’s ultraviolet radiation. My peeps are about as likely to patronize an indoor tanning salon as they are to volunteer for a weekly prostate examination, but we do tend to do stupid manly things like play a round of golf at high altitude with no hat or sunscreen. You’d think I’d know better, but I caught too much sun on my face yesterday during a mid day round of geezer golf. (Although I did manage to hit three tee shots and two approach shots over water hazards without drowning a single ball. Miracles do happen.)

So, dudes, please ‘lighten up’ before you check into The Hotel Melanoma. End of sermonizing and time for lyricising, with The Beatles’ “Hey Jude”…

Hey Dude, don’t play so bad
Take your sad lie and make it better
Remember to let par into your heart
Then you can start to fake it better


Hey Dude, don't be afraid
You were made to hole out and putt pure
The minute you let rays under your skin
Then you begin to make it leather


And anytime you feel score pain, hey Dude, retrain
Don't carry your beers upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays by rules
Try kicking your balls away from boulders
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah


Hey Dude, don't let balls drown
You have found green, now go and sink her
Remember to let par into your heart
Then you can start to ‘scape sand better


So chip it out and get it in, hey Dude, with spin
You're waiting for some swing to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Dude, you’re screwed
The movement you need is in your shoulders
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah


Hey Dude, don't make it bad
Take a rad wrong and make it better
Remember to spread ‘screen over your skin
Then you'll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh


Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Dude