You Really Got A Hold On Me

Paranoid hypochondria, a condition so well known to so many of us at the Hotel Melanoma, strikes again. On Thanksgiving Day I felt a painful lump, which couldn’t have been a lump of undigested turkey fat since I hadn’t yet had dinner that day. Said discovery sent me to my primary care doc the following Monday, who quickly referred me to my favorite oncologist, Dr. Death. Which led to a tag team fine needle aspiration by three pathologists at my cancer center’s breast cancer clinic. (Hey, it’s a teaching hospital and I provided an opportunity for practice.) The preliminary results of that were flaky enough to prompt a recommendation for an excisional biopsy; if in doubt, cut it out. ‘Fast forward’ thirteen days, and a “no worries” pathology report arrived—it’s not melanoma, it was an inflamed lump of fat tissue. My guess is that it probably originated from a slight injury from one of my spastic golf swings. Of course all of this took three weeks to play out, during which time I just couldn’t resist psyching myself up to receive a Stage IV diagnosis and planning my assault on the Black Beast.

Will I ever be able to train my brain to just deal with the facts, as and when they become known, instead of driving myself bat guano crazy worrying about the known unknowns? Probably not, because this is the Hotel Melanoma. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

To the tune of “You Really Got A Hold On Me” from The Beatles…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QT6GqfGgko


I don't like you
But I loved U
Seems that I'm always
Thinkin' of you
Oh, ho, ho, you treat me badly
I sunned too madly

You've really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)

Black C
I don't want you
’Cuz I need through
Sure wanna miss you
But can’t seem to
Oh, ho, ho You do me wrong now
My ‘screen is strong now

You've really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)

Black C
I got you and all I know you will do
Is just
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me

Tighter
Tighter

I wanna leave you
Don't wanna stay here
Don't wanna spend another day here
Oh ho ho, I wanna split now
I just can't quit now

You've really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)

Black C
I got you and all I know you will do
Is just
Hold me (seize)
Hold me (squeeze)
Hold me
Hold me

You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)