Playing With A Full Deck?

It’s time for me to schedule a MRI scan of Mr. Schwannoma and a follow-up appointment with my favorite nuke doc, so I was shuffling through my deck of University of Colorado Cancer Center M.D. cards to find his appointment line number. It’s a fairly full deck, at least compared to the deck my spouse would claim my chemo-depleted brain is playing with. At age 9 I collected baseball cards and now at age 59 I collect oncology cards. Life has a way of circling around on you. Does anyone want to trade a Mickey Mantle rookie card for my radiation oncologist’s card, even up?


And the same old, same old CIGNA claims department drill now begins. Dr. No’s office will get my MRI preauthorized. And when the hospital submits the bill, CIGNA will deny payment, claiming the scan is medically unnecessary. Or that Mr. Schwannoma is an uncovered preexisting condition. Or both. And I’ll eventually win the argument.

But, hey, life is good and I retain high hopes that one day we’ll all celebrate the demolition of The Hotel Melanoma and dance as its walls come rumbling down. Meanwhile, I’ll sign off with my rendition of John Mellencamp’s “Crumblin’ Down”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PErUiAyVoGc


Some tumors ain't no damn good
You can't trust 'em you can't bust 'em
No good read goes unpunished
And I don't mind bein' their whippin' boy
I've had that pleasure for years and years
Yo, Yo I ever was a tanner--tell me what ‘screen can I use
Second guessed is what you get when insurers bend the rules
And time respects no patient--what you claim up they’ll stall
I’m waiting on hold to make my pay beggin’ calls

Saw my pictures at the doctor’s
Read the news around doc’s face
And now some people just want to beat me on claim

When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' rumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down

Some people say I'm a blogger that’s crazy
I'm law-educated--my opinion costs somethin’!
But I know I'm a real bad dancer
Don't need to look over my shoulder to see what I'm after
Every body's got its problems--ain't no new news here
I'm in same old trouble I’ve been havin' for years
Don't confuse mole problem with scar tissue, cured?
It's recurrence fear
Just a human desire to have my scans clear

Wanna put my arms around you
Hear your songs in my ear
C can bend me C can’t break me
So I’d better scan clear

When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' rumblin'
When these walls come tumblin' tumblin' down

When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' rumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down

Wanna put my arms around you
Hear your songs in my ear
C can bend me C can’t break me
So I’d better scan clear

When the walls come tumblin' down
When the walls come crumblin' rumblin'
When the walls come tumblin' tumblin' down