Debate Restraint

Every so often I find myself in a Facebook ‘conversation’ with a melahomey friend’s friend, whom I’ve managed to seriously piss off without intending to. And I get to wondering whether these people are just angry or looney by nature or if I have some special talent for making complete strangers mad that I should attribute to spending a couple of decades or so in the rough and tumble debating world of law practice. Whichever may be the case, I think I’ll take a break from taking the bait and responding when a melahomey friend asks for opinions about any matter that could even possibly be more controversial than sunscreen brand preferences. Life’s too short to do more than hit the “like” button and post an appropriate emoticon.

To everyone whom I’ve managed to offend on Facebook all I can say is “whatever”, and sign off with the Hotel Melanoma rendition of Bob Dylan’s “All I Really Want to Do”…



I ain't lookin' to compete with you
Meet or Tweet or mistreat you
Simplify you, classify you
Deny, de-fry, or euthanize you

All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

No, and I ain't lookin' to fight with you
Frighten you or enlighten you
Drag you down or make you frown
Paint you clown or bring you crown

All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I ain't lookin' to block you up
Shock or knock or lock you up
Analyze you, anesthetize you
Standardize you or glamorize you

All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I don't want to straight-face you
Race or chase you, track or trace you
Or disgrace you or efface you
Or define you or confine you

All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I don't want to treat your skin
Make you kin or do you in
Or perfect you or dissect you
Or inspect you or reject you

All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I don't want to stake you out
Take or flake or head ache you out
I ain't lookin' for you to feel like me
See like me or be like me

All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you