Sunbrowned

This was me at seventeen, at the end of a summer of lifeguarding and as brown as a kid of Celtic descent could get. Cooking melanoma in a black Speedo. And hoping and praying to draw a very high draft lottery number after I turned eighteen, because at the time a tour of duty in Vietnam slogging through rice paddies with an M-16 in my hands seemed like so much more of a clear and present danger than using baby oil as a ‘sunscreen’ and catching ‘skin cancer’ when I was much older.

But a wonderful summer it was. And a seventeen- year-old male brain is not exactly good at making rational assessments of the potential long term consequences of high-risk behavior, which is why we used to draft kids to fight our wars. So, dear indoor tanning industry, how can you possibly make a principled argument in opposition to legislation banning minors from using tanning beds? I guess you’d sell cigarettes to a seventeen-year-old too?

To the tune of Gordon Lightfoot’s “Sundown”…



I can see my fryin’ back when I’m lackin’ dress
At a pool where the U brought youth mole distress.
Sunbrowned, you better take care
Since I found mel’s been creepin' ‘round my back bare.
Sunbrowned, you better take care
Since I found mel’s been creepin' ‘round my back bare.

C's been cookin' since sixteen in the baby ‘screen
And C don't always stay but C’s really mean.
Sometimes I think it's a shame
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain.
Sometimes I think it's a shame
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain.

I can picture ev'ry groove that a tan could bake;
Gettin' lost in yer sunnin’ is your first mistake.
Sunbrowned, you better take care
Since I found mel’s been creepin' round my back bare.
Sometimes I think it's just skin
Then I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again.

I can see her cookin’ fast in mutated genes;
C's a hard evil demon, got me feelin' mean.
Sometimes I think it's a shame
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain.
Sunbrowned, you better take care
Since I found mel’s been creepin' round my back bare.

Sunbrowned, you better take care
Since I found mel’s been creepin' round my back bare.
Sometimes I think it's just skin
Then I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again.