The Cancer Clique

I attended my 40-year (yikes!) high school reunion this past weekend. If you’ve attended several of these events you know that old high school cliques never die, and new ones tend to form during the course of the event based on shared life experiences.

By my senior year I had migrated to the very nonexclusive Shy Guy Disaffected Slacker Clique. Our main shared interests were to have as much fun as possible without scoring a juvenile court rap sheet, praying for a high draft lottery number, and just getting the heck out of that place and time as quickly and painlessly as possible. (A number of our members rebonded last weekend and took guilty pleasure in observing that some of our non-slacker classmates had perhaps peaked too early in life.) But at this most recent reunion I also fell into a new affinity group of classmates whose lives have been affected by one brand or another of cancer. We didn’t really talk all that much about it, but nonetheless sprouted some new bonds that I hope will continue to grow from the mutual understanding, empathy and hopes shared only by scarred veterans of the cancer wars who can also swap stories about their most embarassing moments as stupid teenagers. Not unlike the Slacker Clique, this new Cancer Clique is one that nobody ever aspired to join. But in a time of life when it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain old ties and bonds frayed by time and distance, new ones of any sort are to be valued.

For all of you former Slackers who’ve excelled as members of the melanoma band of your old school’s Cancer Clique, here’s a new version of “King of Pain” by the Police…



There's a little black spot on my skin today
Not the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black mole caught in a high risk spot
There's a biopsy and the scans won't stop

I have stood here before, inside me ticking bombs
With the docs turning circles searching 'round for balms
I guess I'm always hoping that we’ll reach the calm
But not my destiny to be the king of prom

There's a little black spot on my skin today
(There’s a cure out there)
Not the same old thing as yesterday
(There’s a cure out there)
There's a black mole caught in a high risk spot
(There’s a cure out there)
There's a biopsy and the scans won't stop
(There’s a cure out there)

I have stood here before, inside me ticking bombs
With the docs turning circles searching 'round for balms
I guess I'm always hoping that we’ll reach the calm
But not my destiny to be the king of prom

There's a tumor that's found in a high risk place
(There’s a cure out there)
There's a resident frowning over my bad case
(There’s a cure out there)
There's some protons fired on a shining beam
(There’s a cure out there)
There's a big tumor zapped into smithereens
(There’s a cure out there)

I have stood here before, inside me ticking bombs
With the docs turning circles searching 'round for balms
I guess I'm always hoping that we’ll reach the calm
But not my destiny to be the king of prom

There's a nurse on the phone with some scan news out
There's a doctor looking at a shadow of doubt
There's a patient laying in a clinic bed
There's a resident joking ‘bout new rounds to dread

King of prom

There’s a white coat swarm ‘til my pulse is back
(There’s a cure out there)
There's an angry nurse with a whip to crack
(There’s a cure out there)
There's a little black spot on my skin today
Not the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before, inside me ticking bombs
With the docs turning circles searching 'round for balms
I guess I'm always hoping that we’ll reach the calm
But not my destiny to be the king of prom

King of prom
King of prom
King of prom
I'll never be king of prom
I'll never be king of prom
I’ll never be king of prom