UV Inferno

I recently saw an ad for a local tanning salon called “Tan Your Hide”. I couldn’t help but think that frequent patrons will soon look like a piece of weathered old leather, and I hope that slices of those tanned hides don’t end up under a pathologist’s microscope.

As a resident of the Mountain West, I have a libertarian streak and tend to disagree with government nanny types who think they need to save us all from doing stupid things to ourselves. But there seems to be so much evidence that tanning salons are linked to the increasing number of melanoma diagnoses in young folks, even I have come around to believing this industry needs to be regulated in some fashion that protects minors who still think they are invincible. Nevertheless, I guess I’m still enough of a Westerner to sometimes wonder whether a little old-fashioned 'vigilante justice' might just be the solution; so here’s a new version of The Trammps’ “Disco Inferno” from the movie soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever…



Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn!
Burnin'!

No more tans, yes! One million folks survive
People gettin' pale y'all livin' to tell your tale - Do you hear?
(the beds are flaming) Folks sun screenin' – all in control
It was so entertainin' - when the salons started to explode
I heard somebody say

Burn baby burn! - UV inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down
Burn baby burn! - UV inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down
Burnin'!

Satisfaction (uhu hu hu) came in the chain reaction
(burnin') I couldn't get enough, (hope those beds will self-destroy) hope those beds will self destruct, (uhu hu hu)
The heat was on (burnin'), rising to the top, huh!
Everybody's goin' strong (uhu hu hu)
And that is when my torch got hot
I heard somebody say

Burn baby burn! - UV inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down, yoh!
Burn baby burn! - UV inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down
Burnin'!

Comments on my blog, I read livin’ tales to share – We are livin!
That makes me know there's (somebody) a party somewhere

Satisfaction came in a chain reaction - Do you hear?
I couldn't get enough, hope those beds will self destruct,
The heat was on, rising to the top
Everybody's livin' strong
Even though my blog’s not hot
I heard somebody say

Burn baby burn! - UV inferno! (Aah yeah!)
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down
Burn baby burn! - UV inferno, yeah!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salom down
Burn baby burn! - UV inferno! (Aah yeah!)
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down
Burn baby burn! - UV inferno, yeah!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that salon down
Burnin'!

I just can't stop
Till my blog gets hot
Just can't stop
Till my blog gets hot

Burning, burning, burning, burning...