The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Thursday, April 12, 2012


The moment we enter the doors of a cancer treatment center, we begin to experience a world in which time is governed by the laws of medical relativity. Your time, relative to that of every licensed medical professional you will encounter, is irrelevant, immaterial and valueless. The concept of an “appointment” has no application or meaning here. Ordinary words and phrases take on entirely new and special meanings—e.g., the phrase “the doctor will be right with you” means he’ll be correct, not timely. And last, but certainly not least, time stands still for you between the performance of a diagnostic test and the reporting of the results, while flying by at an accelerated speed for your busy doc.

I’ll leave you with a new one to sing during your next visit to oncology world, Chicago’s “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is”…

As I was waiting in my gown today
A nurse came up to me and asked me what the time was that I
saw my doc, yeah
And I said
Does any doctor really know what time it is?
(They don't)
Does any doctor really care?
And now I can't imagine why
(about time)
We all were dumb enough to fry
(Oh no, no)

As I was waiting for my scan today
A CT lady looked at me and said her last patient had
dropped cold dead
And I said
Does any clinic really know what time it is?
(I don't)
Does any clinic really care?
And so I can imagine why
(about time)
We'll all wait long enough to die
)Oh no, no)

And I was walking down the halls today
Being pushed and shoved by patients trying to see their doc,
oh, so I just don't know,
I just don't know
And I said, yes I said
(Background Vocal:
People runnin' everywhere
Don't know the way to go
Don't know where I am
Can't see past the next step
Don't have to think past the last trial
Have no time to look around
Just run around, run around and think why)
Does anybody really know what time we have?
(I don't)
Does anybody really dare?
And so I can imagine why
(about time)
We'll all live life until we die
(Oh no, no)

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