Don't Be A Dope On The Slope

There are three surefire ways to spot a Texan in Colorado ski country. One, he’s the guy trying to order a Corona Light in the local microbrewery. Two, he and his posse are standing smack dab in the middle of a ski run, just below the crest of a hill. And three, he looks like a raccoon at the end of a day on the slopes.

The UV Index on the high altitude slopes of the Rockies is frequently at a high or extreme level. And those intense UV rays are reflecting off that white powdery stuff we so love to ski on. Consequently, you can get your face fried in only a few minutes of unprotected exposure. Even on a cloudy day. So even if you are a Texan and are proud of it, try to at least act like a local and wear your sunscreen. And try one of those microbrews-- you just might find out what beer tastes like.

I’ll end this PSA with a new version of AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”…



If you're havin' trouble with your ski school dread/huh, huh, huh, huh
It's givin' you the blues/huh, huh, huh
You wanna graduate and get out ‘n shred/huh, huh, huh, huh
Here's what you gotta do/huh, huh, huh
Slap on your ‘screen, that sun is mean/huh, huh, huh, huh, huh
Wear it every time/huh, huh, huh
Just sing: S-P-F-S-P-F, hey
You’ll dodge skin cancer fine

Thirty ‘screen comes dirt cheap
Thirty ‘screen wear it deep
Thirty ‘screen lets you sleep
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep

You keep droppin’ both your new ski gloves/huh, huh, huh, huh
You lost your cell phone smart/huh, huh, huh
Those double-diamonds ain’t your best friend/huh, huh, huh, huh, huh
That's where the sheer drops start FELLA, well-uh/huh, huh, huh
Slap on the ‘screen, that sun is mean/huh, huh, huh, huh, huh
Don’t take a cancer fall/huh, huh, huh, huh
Enjoy scenes, stay on those flat greens
You'll have yourself a ball, eh

Thirty ‘screen comes dirt cheap
Thirty ‘screen wear it deep
Thirty ‘screen lets you sleep
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep, oohh
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep
Whoa yeah

You do the snowplow and you want it gone/huh, huh, huh, huh
But you ain't got the guts/huh, huh, huh
It keeps naggin' at you night 'n' day/huh, huh, huh, huh
Enough to drive you nuts/huh, huh, huh, huh
Slap on the ‘screen, that sun is mean/huh, huh, huh, huh
It's time you saved a tan/huh, huh, huh, huh
For a fee, doc’s happy to be
Your Black C man, hey

Thirty ‘screen comes dirt cheap
Thirty ‘screen wear it deep
Thirty ‘screen lets you sleep
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep, yeah
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep
Thirty ‘screen and don’t look like creep
Discreet hues
No tan hide
UV-free
C’s not cheap
Ooo, trial time
RX
High co-pays
C’s not cheap, eah

Dirty C, do anything it want to do, C’s not cheap
Dirty C, dirty C, dirty C, C’s not cheap

Yaaagh