Vision Derision

One of the unexpected pleasures of practicing safe sun by taking beach walks at dawn is that one sees very few European man-bikinis at that hour of the day. Neverthless, I’ve been subjected to this visual assault even at sunrise; and I must confess that on these occasions I’ve sometimes harbored the very unkind thought that there’d be some justice done if the thong wearer were to experience a wide local excision of a melanoma tumor in a spot that’d be covered by long baggy swim trunks like mine. I can’t think of a song that better captures this frightful experience than Jimmy Buffett’s “Fins”….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UruXWui1EG8


He came down from Colorado.
It took him three hours on a plane.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
hoped to see the beach again.
And now he walks down by the ocean.
He's takin' care to walk at dawn.
He hangs out in palapa huts,
And he gave up on the bronze.

Can't you see 'em approachin' sonny?
Can't you see 'em prancin' around?
You got thongs to the left, thongs to the right,
and you're the only Yank in town.
You got thongs to the left, thongs to the right,
and you're the only Yank in town.

He's savin' up all of his money.
Wants to head down south to play;
Maybe loll in the sand with no cool bronze sun tan,
Somewhere down Mexico way.
And the breeze feels good on the ocean;
Helps to lighten up his load.
Rum keep him high as the days go by.
He's sendin' e-mails from the road.

Can't you see 'em approachin' sonny?
Can't you see 'em prancin' around?
You got thongs to the left, thongs to the right,
and you're the only Yank in town.
You got thongs to the left, thongs to the right,
and you're the only Yank in town.

Flew down to the playa.
It took him three hours on a plane.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
Maybe leave behind some pain.
But now he feels some paranoia,
'cause the sight's still close at hand.
Just beyond his hut are the big tan butts
of old guys that still prance on the sand.

Can't you see 'em approachin' sonny?
Can't you see 'em prancin' around?
You got thongs to the left, thongs to the right,
and you're the only Yank in town.
You got thongs to the left, thongs to the right,
and you're the only Yank in town.