The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Black is the New Pink

Okay, that’s a gross exaggeration but May is Melanoma Awareness Month and you can’t fault me for a bit of sales puffing for the cause. Through blogging and social networking (two things that a couple of years ago I’d have sworn I’d never do) I’ve had the privilege of ‘meeting’ some inspiring crusaders who are working to increase melanoma awareness. Among them is the designer of the pictured t-shirt and author of, from whom I’ve borrowed the title of this post without permission. But I don’t think he’ll mind.

Before checking into this Hotel, I found cancer awareness campaigns to be mildly annoying—and I wanted to tell campaigners to just shut up and go work on a cure. But I’ve come to understand that true cures are likely a very long way off, or might never be found because the mutation rate of cancer cells is such that they may always find a way to work around every new treatment weapon developed. Prevention and early detection just may, at least for the time being, be the only effective means to reduce the increasing number of melanoma deaths. So, my hat goes off (but only in the shade mind you) to all you awareness campaigners.

To celebrate Melanoma Awareness Month, I’ve written some new lyrics to the Eagles’ “Desperado”; every cause needs an anthem and maybe this one will catch on…

Melanoma, why don't you come to your senses
You've been building defenses,
for too long - now.
Ohh you're a hard one.
But know that we'll get your number.
Oncologists beatin’ you,
They’ll cure you somehow.

Hope you draw the queen of Yervoy boy,
She'll beat you if she's able.
You know metastasis is always your last bet.
Now it seems to me, some fine meds
Have been laid upon our table.
And we only want the ones
That you can't beat.

Ohhhh you ain’t getting no older.
You’re bold but we’re bolder,
We’re taking you down.
Remission, remission.
Well that's just some doctors talking.
Our vision is putting you way underground.

And our skin stays pale like it’s winter time.
Our scans won't glow and the sun will shine.
It's hard to see the fright times from today.
And we’re dodging most your strikes and blows,
And we’re hopin’ that the healing grows
each day...

Why don't you come to your senses?
let down your defenses, open the gate.
We will be winnin', and there's a bounty upon you.
You better let somebody cure you.
(let sombody cure you)
You better let somebody cure you...ohhh..hooo
before it's too..oooo.. late.

I woke up to several inches of wet snow this morning, so I’m off to borrow a revolver and shoot six holes in my freezer.


  1. I don't think the designer will mind at all. :) And thanks for the continued great work and creativity! I'm sure my campaign is a bit annoying to some on the social network...(almost as much as Farmville updates?)...but if a little annoyance causes one to think twice before venturing in the sun, it's worth it! Keep up the great work!

  2. Nothing is as annoying as the Farmville updates....

    Another great post, Rich!

  3. Thanks Al and Chelsea. Farmville updates have led me to block a brother-in-law's fb posts. Take care.