March Madness

Yikes, it's March. Time for the high stakes single-elimination tournament I play whenever I see oncologists for follow-up checkups and a scan. Plus whatever else they may decide to do after spinning the diagnostic Wheel of Fortune my wife maintains is sitting in some back room at the carcinoma clinic and out of sight of we patients. And time to put those stretch New Year's resolutions about being a better patient into action. [See December 27, 2010 post, “Resolutionary Breakthroughs for The New Year”.] Although if you've read them and know me, you're probably thinking "Rich, good luck with that".

I firmly believe that both the melanoma doc (f/k/a Dr. Death) and radiation doc (f/k/a Dr. No) will tell me I'm fine and send me home to do whatever it is I do. But one never knows until the tournament is played and the final scores are tallied. A fellow melanoma survivor with a fine sense of humor refers to a patient's mental state during this season as "scanxiety". We hope (and pray) for the best, while bucking ourselves up to deal with the worst.

In any event, all I can do is show up to play and hope that I come out a winner once again. Based on what the docs have been telling me in the past year or so, I'm a high seed in this year's tournament and a good bet to go all the way. And I don’t mean to the “Final Stage IV”. So put your money on me.

To tip off this season of March Madness here’s a ‘fight song’ for all players, sung (but not by me in public) to the tune of The Grateful Dead’s “Touch of Grey”………….



It must be cancer clinic
Docs are running late
Paint by numbers MRI
Looks so phony

Docs are running everywhere
Start a scanner, curse the glare
Draw the curtains, I don't care
'Cause it's alright

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

I see you got your notes out
Say your piece and let me out
Yes I got the gist of it
But it's alright

Sorry that you probe that way
The only thing there is to say
Every doctor’s finding's got a
Touch of grey

It's a lesson to me
The doctors and the scanners and Big C
The prognoses
We all must face
And try to keep a little grace

I know my bill is in arrears
My insurer has not paid in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright

Docs done gave me Thorazine
This kid could tan at seventeen
The sun I got without sunscreen
But it's alright

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

It's a lesson to me
The doctors and the scans and Big C
The prognoses
We all think of
And try to keep a little love

The scan is on the spot it hits
There's really nothing much to it
Whistle in the dark then split
'Cause it's alright

Oh well a touch of grey
Kind of suits me anyway
That was all I had to say
And it's alright

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

We will get by
We will get by
We will get by
We will survive