Persistence

Being a lucky fellow who’s shown no evidence of disease for almost eleven years after a Stage IIIc diagnosis and biochemotherapy treatments, I’m one of the slackers living at The Hotel Melanoma. Consequently, I move about the cyber-halls of this place in a constant state of awe about the quiet courage and persistence of my Stage IV melahomies who’ve undergone multiple surgeries and drug treatment regimens. And all while continuing to go on about the business of living their lives as long and as fully and richly as they are able. I’m quite often ashamed of how very little I do to lend emotional support to those who are fighting for their lives, withdrawing to my own safe little NED room because I just can’t take the pain of always being there for others and I’d rather write fluffy blog posts and get more pageviews.

Who knows what my medical future may bring, but one thing is certain. Should I ever find myself in Stage IV territory I’ll surely have a lot of fine role models. Many have succumbed to their disease but none have “lost” their battle.

For all of you badass Stage IV warriors, both the living and the passed, here’s The Hotel Melanoma rendition of Don Henley’s “Heart of the Matter”…



I got the call today that I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talking on the phone
She said you're on end run

And I thought of all the bad luck
And the struggles you went through
And how I lost C and you lost you

What are these voices outside closed Hotel door
Make us throw off our ‘contentment’
And beg for one year more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew
I'm learning again

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about persistence, persistence
Even if, even when you don't want to anymore

Ah, these times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can one survive in such a cureless age?

Ah, the trust and self-assurance
That lead to happiness
They're the very things C kills, I guess
Ah, pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the wall I put between us
You know, it doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I have to learn again

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about persistence, persistence
Even if, even when you don't want to anymore

There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you, baby
'Cause' life goes on
If you keep carrying that anger
It'll eat you up inside, baby

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about persistence, persistance
Even if, even when you don't want to

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinking about persistence, forgiveness
Even if, even when you don't want to

Persistence
(Yeah)
Forgiveness
(Baby)
Persistence
(Oh, oh)
Forgiveness
(Ah, yeah)
Persistence
(Oh)
Forgiveness
Even when you don't want to anymore

Persistence
(Oh)
Forgiveness
(Oh)
Persistence
Forgiveness