Introduction

The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.



Tutu Brothers

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Burnin' Alive

I expect today’s post expresses a contrarian opinion that may prompt a few eye rolls, but what the heck…

You see, whenever some “celebrity” (whose celebrity-ness is quite often unknown to me until I Google their name) garners a ton of social media attention and publicity over a diagnosis of basal cell carcinoma, or even squamous cell carcinoma, about all I can think is “BFD”. I guess I ought to be appreciative whenever celebrities use a skin cancer diagnosis to urge their adoring fans to wear sunscreen or stay out of tanning beds. But my cynical recovering attorney mind suspects their true agenda is simply a narcissistic attempt to exploit a relatively minor brush with The Big C to get their fix of free publicity. And I think of all of my non-famous melahomies fighting a truly life threatening ‘skin cancer’ who work so hard, and with no potential career or financial gain, to influence their friends, co-workers and family members to change their high-risk indoor and outdoor tanning behaviors. In my curmudgeonly world, they are the true celebrities.

By the way, you skin cancer celebs, I’ve had a total excision of a squamous cell carcinoma and will soon experience a second. And compared to a wide local excision of a melanoma tumor, it’s truly no BFD. So there, Tweet that!

Licking my psychic wounds from several atrocious golf swings earlier today and repressing an urge to drive down the hill and firebomb my local “Tan Your Hide” salon, I’ll sign off with the Hotel Melanoma take on AC/DC’s “Burnin’ Alive…


AC/DC - Burning Alive (lyrics) by soulsurvivor25

[Oooh yeah]
Burnin' alive, set my moles on fire
Sunnin' kicked my buns, this place is gonna burn
No biopsies, or Solarcaine
No plunder store, no Doc Pain
No kids to stalk, nowhere to ‘sun’
So watch out 'cause this place is gonna burn

Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
[Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive]

Rays be tannin' your hide, young sunnin' child
Tell you somethin' to fear, ‘cause the buck stops here!
C came from a little brown small mole
And someday, maybe, it'll go up in smoke

[I say]
No biopsies, or Solarcaine,
No plunder store, and no Doc Pain
No kids to stalk, nowhere to ‘sun’
So watch out, cause this place is gonna burn

Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
It's an all-out war, an all-out war
Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive

Somewhere, there's a little brown small mole
And someday, maybe Ray C, will impale and croak!

[Yeah, we're] Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
[Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive]
It's an all-out war, an all-out war
Hear the battle roar, it's an all-out war
[Yeah we're] Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive
[Burnin' alive, Burnin' alive]

[Yeah] Watch the place burn down

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