Cabin Fever Rock

It’s been a very rough winter for so much of the country, including my neck of the woods where it was 15 degrees below zero this morning. Again. I was out shoveling the driveway yesterday morning and my eyelashes were forming ice crystals. So I’d imagine that millions of Americans share my urge to use Punxsutawney Phil for a bit of target practice, even though we know the little critter is not to blame for our long winter of discontent. But there’s just nothing as cold as the indoor tanning industry, which will gladly sell a carcinogen to teenagers. And I believe that someday soon the industry will follow in the footsteps of the tobacco industry and pay the price for its deceptive and misleading claims about the safety and health benefits of its product.

For my ‘friends’ in the indoor tanning industry, here’s the Hotel Melanoma rendition of Foreigner’s “Cold as Ice”…



You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our young

You’d rather make the lies
Someday you'll pay the price, I know

I've seen it before, it happens all the time
(Oooh-oooh) You're op’ning the door, you grieve young girls inside
You're digging for gold, you're throwing away
(Aaah-aaah) A fortune in teenlings, but someday you'll pay

You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our young

You flaunt bad advice
But someday you'll pay the price, I know

I've seen it before, (oooh-oooh) it happens all the time
(Oooh-oooh) You're posing sun bore, you leave young girls skin-fried
You're digging for gold, (aaah-aaah) you're throwing away
(Aaah-aaah) A fortune in teenlings, but someday you'll pay
(Cold as ice) You know that you are
(Cold-cold, As-as ice) As cold as ice to me
(Cold-cold-cold, As-as-as ice)

(Ooh-ooh-ooh) (Cold as, cold as I-I ice) (You're as cold ice) yes
(Cold as ice) You're as cold as ice, cold as ice, I know
(Cold as ice) (Cold as, cold as ice) Yes I know
(Cold as ice) (Cold as, cold as ice) You're as cold as ice, cold as ice, I know
(Cold as ice) (Cold as, cold as ice) Oh yes I know
(Cold as ice) (Cold as, cold as ice) You're as cold as ice, cold as ice, I know
(Cold as ice) (Cold as, cold as ice) Oh yes I know
(Cold as ice) (Cold as, cold as ice) You're as cold as ice, you're as cold as ice, I know