"The Palms is extremely proud to be the official tanning resort for The Denver Broncos Cheerleaders!"
I’ve been in a pretty sour mood the past month. My best buddy and ghostwriter Jordan passed away in late August. ‘Tis the season to go see the witch doctors again to spin the diagnostic wheel of fortune, and I’m still getting oversized bills from the last go-round. And my geezer golf game has gone even further south—how does a guy get the yips with a sand wedge, anyway? Now it’s the first day of October, people are telling me I’m supposed to do that monthly inspection of my phosphorescent white carcass, and I don’t wanna. To top it off, it’s once gain time for the commercialized frenzy of Pinktober, brought to you by consumer products companies that don’t give a rip about any other brand of cancer, and featuring pink-clad NFL cheerleading squads sporting fresh glows from their sponsor tanning salons. GRRRRR!!!
To the tune of Foreigner’s “Dirty White Boy”…
Hey maties, I’ve been feelin’ down
I know what’s ‘good’ for blues all day
Am I’m worried what doc ‘friends’ see
Will it ruin their reputation treatin' me?
'Cause I'm a surly white boy
Yeah a surly white boy
A surly white boy
Don't hide those big ass scars
Don't like no Hollywood movie stars
You want me to be true to U
You don't give a damn what fries do to you
I'm just a surly white boy
Surly white boy, surly white boy
Surly white boy, surly white boy
Surly white boy
Well I'm a surly white boy
Surly white boy, surly white boy
Surly white boy, yeah, surly white boy
A surly white boy
I've been in trouble since I don't know when
I'm in trouble now and I know somehow I'll find trouble again
I'm a mole sir but I never check moles
Every night I get one step closer to the paler zone
'Cause I'm a surly white boy
Surly white boy, yeah, surly white boy
Surly white boy, I'm a surly white boy
Surly white boy
C'mon, c'mon boy
Surly white boy, white boy
Surly white boy, I'm a surly white boy
Surly white boy
Hey I'm a surly white boy
Surly white boy, yeah, I'm a surly white boy
(Surly white boy) boy, surly white boy, yeah
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