Birthday Suit Rock

My favorite melanoma oncologist (f/k/a Dr. Death) has kicked me halfway to the curb, suggesting that I can start seeing him only once a year and visit the folks at the hospital’s dermatology clinic in between. I guess I’ve officially reached the welcomed stage of being a boring patient. I drug my feet for a while, because I dislike breaking in a new set of medics and filling out the inevitable duplicative paperwork. But last week I ‘celebrated’ my 60th birthday with a first-ever appointment with the ‘just skin doctors’.

I was quite relieved that I didn’t “SPOT Orange” anywhere in the clinic. Way too many unfortunate souls had to experience the visual assault of inspecting me up close and personal in my birthday suit. There was some scraping, freezing, and mole mapping involved. A third-year resident, who upon learning of my melanoma history seemed quite surprised I’m not dead, told me I’m covered with moles that could become new primary melanoma tumors. So tell me something I don’t already know. But I’m fine, and for that I’m grateful.

Hoping to stay exceedingly pale and boring under the keen and watchful eyes of my new dermatologists, I’ll sign off with the Hotel Melanoma take on The Who’s “I Can See For Miles”…



I know you've had mean C, now here's a surprise
I know that you have 'cause there's magic in my eyes

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah

If you think that I don't know about the little tricks U plays
And never see you when deliberately you put skin in fry rays

Well, here's a poke at you
You're gonna hope docs skin true
You're gonna lose that smile
Because all the while

I can see for miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah

You took advantage of my trust in you when I was so far away
I saw you bolding lots of summer fries and now you've got the nerve to say

That you don’t want C
Well, that's as may be
But you gotta stand trial
Because all the while

I can see for miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah

I know you've had mean C, now here's a surprise
I know that you have 'cause there's magic in my eyes

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah

Sun’s frightful power and the cost of Sol are mine to see on check days
You thought that I would need a crystal ball to see fright through sun braise

Well, here's a poke at you
You're gonna hope docs skin true
You're gonna lose that smile
Because all the while

I can see for miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles
I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles
and miles and miles and miles and miles

I can see for miles and miles…