The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Monday, July 30, 2012

Lawyers On Drugs

During biochemotherapy treatments, my cocktail of side effects meds included Ativan, Zofran, Compazine, Dopamine, Thorazine, Demerol and that’s not all. (That’s material for a rap song, but I am SO not going there.) It was a potent cocktail that really addled my brain and caused me to do some things for which I don’t accept responsibility—like trying to take an unauthorized shower with two IV pumps in tow. And, fortunately, my saintly nurses didn’t hold me responsible either or else one of them just might have considered euthanasia.

With my deepest apologies to the nursing staff at The University of Colorado Hospital’s critical care oncology unit, the Hotel Melanoma version of Jackson Browne’s “Lawyers In Love”…

I can't keep up with what's been going down
I think my brain must just be slowing down
Among the human beings in their hospital greens
Am I the only one who fears the schemes
And the tangled wiles of lawyers on drugs

Rich sends his chaplain to hysteria, she’s dutiful
She stands at six o'clock and there he are, not beautiful
Cheating those UV rays, tuned into sports for days
Waiting for drug round III while nurses slave
To the help bell calls of lawyers on drugs

Last night they called Code Blues in Eight East town, near capital
The patient escaped while they weren't watching him, like patients will
Now they’ve got him in room, they've even stopped his swoon
And I hear the new hospital will be open soon
As infusion land for lawyers on drugs

Lawyers on drugs…
Lawyers on drugs...

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