The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I guess I must have an evil streak, because I’m getting some chuckles out of watching that famous pink cancer foundation trying to find its way out of the ‘no-win’ public relations minefield it bumbled and stumbled into while trying to do good. And I’m selfishly hoping that just a little bit of any donor and sponsor fallout falls on the Hotel Melanoma.

But what it all confirms for me is that it’s impossible for a really big and cash-rich nonprofit to bat a thousand and always do a great job of giving away buckets of money in ways that achieve its mission and provide the best ‘bang for the buck’. And no matter how good of a job it may do in awarding grants, one camp or another among the organization’s donors is occasionally going to get vocally upset when they find out for the first time exactly who and what their donations are funding (or not).

Not that anyone asked but my advice is that when it comes to supporting your favorite cancer, keep your money close to home and designate how your gift is to be used. We guests of the Hotel Carcinoma need look no further than “our” cancer treatment center (or its supporting nonprofit affiliate) to find a targeted way to lend financial support to fighting “our” cancer and helping “our” fellow cancer warriors in ways that are consistent with our personal values, whatever they may be. So before you make out that next donation check to some large national cancer nonprofit, knowing next to nothing about how your money will be used, please check out what’s on the giving menu at your favorite cancer treatment center. If you want to help fund a particular good cause like providing screening mammograms for women who might not otherwise receive them, you can almost certainly do that and only that in the city where you live.

With just a teensy bit of sympathy for the “you know who” foundation, here’s my version of Bob Dylan’s “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35”…

Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good,
They'll stone ya just a-right for cause they stood.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to cure C.
Then they'll stone ya ‘cause you can't always please.
But you should not feel so all alone,
Every (c)(3) must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone ya ‘cause they’re walkin' 'long the street.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to cancer beat.
They'll stone ya when you're talkin' on TV.
They'll stone ya when you're ‘splainin’ why you fleed.
But you should not feel so all alone,
Every (c)(3) must get stoned.

They'll stone ya when you're at the Congress table.
They'll stone ya ‘cause you are rich and able.
They'll stone ya if you're lyin' to raise a buck.
They'll stone ya and then they'll say, "get f****d."
Tell ya what, you should not feel so all alone,
Every (c)(3) must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone you and say that it's the end.
Then they'll stone you and then they'll give bucks again.
They'll stone you if you're losing all your tact.
They'll stone you if you're playing with the facts.
Yes, but you should not feel so all alone,
Every (c)(3) must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone you ‘cause you sit on a throne.
They'll stone you ‘cause you think pink’s your own.
They'll stone you and then say you aren’t brave.
They'll stone you when they are learning where they gave.
But you should not feel so all alone,
Every (c)(3) must get stoned.

1 comment:

  1. I also am somewhat amused by the actions of the famous pink cancer foundation. Luckily for them the revelation that the religious pressure to stop funding planned parenthood was coming from themselves got a lot less press than the first announcement that they had cut them off, or the second announcement that they started again. Anyway, great post and you were past due for a solid Dylan inspired post.