The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Binary World

Some time this spring I’ll have that six-month checkup with the oncologist formerly known as Dr. Death. I seem to have mislaid the appointment card and don’t know when it’ll be, but it doesn’t matter because his office always calls to unilaterally reschedule these things anyway so I’ll get a second chance to write it down somewhere. (Just once I’d like to call him and say my previously-scheduled appointment interferes with a prime tee time, so I’ll come in the following day, oh, say around 10 or so.)

At said appointment, he’ll most likely tell me I’m fine and a boring patient, so get the heck out of here until fall. But it just might not go well and be the start of a string of medical events leading to a confirmed Stage IV diagnosis. It’ll be very good or very bad, very boring or way too interesting, very happy or pretty scary; there’s just no in-between in the binary checkup world of a “NED” melanoma survivor.

But my little binary world has changed over the past couple of years in one respect. Whichever way the next checkup goes, I’ll have a band of brothers and sisters here at the Hotel that’ll cheer with me, cry with me, or pray for me, knowing exactly what I’m feeling. All I have to do is reach out. And for that I’m blessed.

But still, it’s either the Black C or me; one of us is gone, gone, gone. So I’ll leave you with Robert Plant and Alison Krauss’s rendition of The Everly Brothers’ “Gone Gone Gone”…

Some sunny day-hay Black C
When everything seems okay, Black C
You’ll wake up and I won’t be alone
Then I’ll be gone
Gone, gone, gone really gone
Gone, ga-gone, cause you done me wrong

Every drug that you meet Black C
Will lay you down to sleep Black C
Just ask us why we’re walkin’ with a throng
Why your cover’s blown
Just want you gone
Gone, gone, gone
Gone, ga-gone, cause we done you wrong

If you change your way Black C
I might not need to pray Black C
Ya better hurry up and just start leavin’ me alone
Or I’ll be gone
Gone, gone, gone
Really gone
Gone, Ga-gone
Cause you done me wrong

1 comment:

  1. I have a check up in April and this blog has reminded me that I also have the dreaded checkup with the oncologist too. Sigh...

    Thank you:-)

    and great song!