The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Still More Verses For Nurses

I’ve been hospitalized five times during my stay at the Hotel Melanoma. Each time I was too ill and zonked on meds to care, or even notice, whether any of my nurses were head-turners. I do, nevertheless, remember that all of them were angels who did their best to care for a very sick and often quite cranky patient—and to keep green residents from killing me. So, I can’t think of a better way to kick off 2012 than with a lyrical “thank you” to the nursing profession. In my book, you’re all beautiful people.

To the tune of Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman”…

Pretty R.N., working on my beat
Pretty R.N., the kind that’s quick to treat
Pretty R.N.
I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could nurse as good as you

Pretty R.N., won't you pardon me
Pretty R.N., I shouldn't try to flee
Pretty R.N.
And you are caring as can be
Despite patients just like me

Pretty R.N., stop a while
Pretty R.N., tap that vial
Pretty R.N., give this trial to me
Pretty R.N., yeah yeah yeah
Pretty R.N., earns her pay
Pretty R.N., say you'll stay with me
'Cause I need you, you'll treat me right
Save me from Doogie, he’s cause for fright

Pretty R.N., won’t walk on by
Pretty R.N., won’t let me die
Pretty R.N., keep me at bay, hey...okay
If that's the way it must be, okay
I guess I won’t go roam, it's late
There'll be tomorrow’s fright, but wait
What do I see
She’s got IV bags for me
Yeah, more IV bags for me
Oh, oh, Pretty R.N.

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