Introduction

The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.



Tutu Brothers

Friday, May 29, 2015

Singing the Swamp Golf Blues



As this wet and chilly Melanoma Awareness Month in the Rockies winds down, I’m left with a ‘burning’ question for Dr. Science (whom I am not): Can UV radiation penetrate water? I mean, I was strolling down the par-3 17th hole on Wednesday (after once again splashing a lovely tee shot in the above-pictured bunker) and listening to the frogs croaking. Despite the fact that the 17th hole lies nowhere near a stream or lake. Did I wake up back in Oregon this month? Oy.

My ‘in-depth’ research tells me that as long as you can still see light underwater, you are still getting hit by UV rays. Plus, any exposed flesh sitting above the water line is getting hit by extra UV radiation reflecting off the water. So thank heavens I was out on the links clad in UPF-50 duds and sunscreen, as well as a good bit of mud left over from trying to hit balls off of swampy fairways. And, with little thanks owed to me, my 3-man best ball team won $4 apiece!

Pining for a sunnier and dryer weekend, I’ll sign off with The Hotel Melanoma rendition of Sam Cooke’s “Another Saturday Night”…



Another Saturday night and I ain't got glow body
I want some sunny but I must stay pale
How I wish I had some sun to block to
I'm in an awful way

I got in town a month ago, I heard a lotta frogs since then
If I could see 'em I could get 'em but as yet I haven't met 'em
That's why I'm in the shape I'm in

Here another Saturday night and I ain't got glow body
I want some sunny but I must stay pale
How I wish I had some sun to block to
I'm in an awful way

Another fella told me he had a swing coach who fixed a slice
Instead of being my deliverance, he had a strange resemblance
To a tan-maimed Frankenstein

Here's another Saturday night and I ain't got glow body
I want some sunny but I must stay pale
How I wish I had some sky to block U
I'm in an awful way

Here it is another weekend and I ain't got glow body
Man if I was back home I'd be swinging
Two strokes under par
Aww yeah
Listen to me huh

It's hard on a fella, when he don't know just where’s dry ground
If I don't find me some sunny to help me mend lie muddy
I'm gonna have to blow this round

Here it's another Saturday night and I ain't got glow body
I want some sunny but I must stay pale
How I wish I had some sky to block U
I'm in an awful way

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