Singing the Pinktober Blues

I’ve concluded that there must be some kind of competition going on among consumer products companies every October to see who can come up with the creepiest and most clueless pink awareness ribbon product placement. Yesterday I picked up a package of thin-sliced chicken breasts that carried the ubiquitous pink ribbon, and all I could think was “yuck”. I mean, what am I supposed to do, perform a mammogram on those chicken breasts before grilling them? What’s next, pink ribbons on tanning beds?

Hoping that my cancer never gets this crassly commercialized, I’ll sign off with The Hotel Melanoma rendition of “Statesboro Blues” from Taj Mahal…



Wake up momma, turn tan lamp down low
Wake up momma, turn tan lamp down low
You don’t deserve baby to have mela onc at your door

I woke up this morning, I had them Pinktober Blues
I woke up this morning, had them Pinktober Blues
Well, I looked over the Facebook and mole mates seemed to have them too

Well, my onc doc tried to test me
My derm doc tried undress me
I ain't good looking baby
I'm somewhat ‘screened and white

I'm goin' to speak bluntly, baby do you want your moles?
If you tan bake it baby
Your Interferon med spree gonna flow
And I sure will take cure

I loved that sun tan, better than any onc man I've ever seen
Well, I loved that suntan, better than any onc man I've ever seen
Well, now, he treat me like a king, yeah, yeah, yeah
And C look like it all gone clean

Wake up momma, turn tan lamp down low
Wake up momma, turn tan lamp down low
You don’t deserve baby to have mela onc at your door