A Starter Cancer

Yesterday I had my second squamous cell carcinoma excised. On the one hand, the procedure and healing process are unpleasant enough to get the attention of most sentient human beings and provoke some serious reflection about past behavior that led to this self-inflicted wound. (Although in comparison to a wide local excision of a melanoma tumor, neither of my squamous cell excisions have been any BFD.) On the other hand, a squamous cell carcinoma is pretty unlikely to kill you. So the experience has got me to thinking that squamous cell carcinoma might make a good “starter cancer” to convince all of us who’ve had too much unprotected fun in the sun to change our behaviors before we make non-cancellable reservations at The Hotel Melanoma.

But the hitch here is that we don’t get the chance to choose a rarely fatal starter cancer as our wake-up call that it’s past time to cover up and wear some freakin’ sunscreen. Instead, we just might find ourselves waking up one day at The Hotel Melanoma—where you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. So please, please be careful outside this summer.

Hoping all you starter cancer survivors have learned your lessons the relatively easy way, I’ll sign off with The Hotel Melanoma rendition of “We Can Work It Out” from The Beatles…



Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on blogging
‘Til I can't go on?

While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that
Your sun may soon do wrong
We can work it out
We can work it out

Think of what you're braising
You can get it brown and still
You think that it's all right

Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and
Get it pale or pay good price
We can work it out
We can work it out

Life is very short
And there's no time
For sunning and frying, my friend

I have always thought
That it's a crime
So I will ask you once again

Try to see it my way
Only time will tell
If I am right or I am wrong

While you see it your way
There's a chance that C might
Scrawl black art before too long
We can work it out
We can work it out

Life is very short
And there's no time
For sunning and frying, my friend

I have always thought
That it's a crime
So I will ask you once again

Try to see it my way
Only time will tell
If I am right or I am wrong

While you see it your way
There's a chance that C might
Scrawl black art before too long
We can work it out
We can work it out