The First Cut Is The Deepest

Dr. Death, my favorite melanoma oncologist, has kicked me halfway to the curb. I’ve apparently become boring enough as a patient that he thinks he now needs to see me only once a year, with a visit to the hospital’s dermatology clinic six months in between our annual soirees.

I’m not real happy with this idea, although I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s because I think I have more than enough docs on my payroll already and I don’t need to add to my collection of doctor cards. Or it could be that I haven’t seen a dermatologist since I was a teenage jock wannabe with athlete’s foot and have the mistaken opinion these guys are “just skin doctors” I’d go see to fix a tattoo mistake. Perhaps I’m just pissed that I couldn’t get an appointment until mid-June, while Dr. Death would see me tomorrow if I thought I might have a problem.

But I’ll do as I’m told and give them a tryout. All I know for sure is that if I show up and “Spot Orange” in this clinic or they want to biopsy every abnormal mole on my old unprepossessing carcass, there’s gonna be trouble.

To the tune of Rod Stewart’s “First Cut Is The Deepest”…



I would have given U all of my parts
But there's someone who's warned me that’s smart
Black C’s taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll hide from sun again
Baby I'd try to sun again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it come to being lucky I’m first
When it come to sunning me C’s worse

I still want U by my hide
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll hide from sun again
Baby I’d try to sun again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it come to being lucky I’m first
When it come to sunning me C’s worse

I still want U by my hide
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
’Cause if you want I'll hide from sun again
Baby I'd try to sun again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky I’m first
When it come to sunning me C’s worse