We Can Be Heroes

It’s Halloween and (thank heavens) the end of the over-commercialized hype that Pinktober has become. It’s been a long, strange month for those of us who aren’t ‘in the pink’, and I for one am glad it’s over. It’s been a month in which Broncos quarterback wannabe Tim Tebow, a personal brand marketing machine, auctioned his pink cleats and former Steelers coach Bill Cowher did a very nice breast cancer awareness PSA in honor of his wife without mentioning she died of melanoma. One of my favorite blogs, www.adventurewithmelanoma.blogspot.com, carried an American Cancer Society ad for breast cancer awareness. And my package of Kroger deli sliced turkey breast carried a pink lid and a “you guessed it” awareness message on the label—something I found just a bit creepy and unappetizing.

Do you have any idea which brand in the Hotel Carcinoma gets November as its awareness month? I had to look it up, but it’s the biggest killer of all, lung cancer. It killed my father-in-law and an aunt. One can only hope we’ll hear as much about this beast in the coming month as we did pink cancer in October, but I’m not holding my breath.

I hope that someday all of us living at the Hotel Carcinoma can get past this zero-sum game of awareness competition and that the general public and corporate ‘marketeers’ will care about and support everyone’s cancer. Until then, I guess we have to do what we have to do to compete, so with thanks to all of you melanoma walkers, runners, riders, bikers, etc., here’s a new version of
The Wallflowers’ “Heroes”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g2VdB4YpzQ


I, I wish you would walk
Like the warriors, like warriors will walk
’Cause something, something will bring us together
We can beat this, for ever and ever.

We can be Heroes, just for one day.

We, we will be kings
And you, you will wear ‘screen
’Cause something, something will drive this away
We can be Heroes, just for one day
Black can be ours, just for one day

I, I remember fearing, Black C’s call
And the birds, sing above our heads
And we’ll walk, because cancer will fall
’Cause the pain, is on the tanner’s hide
Oh we can beat this, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day

We Will Survive

Hey, Pinktober is almost over! I had a checkup with my smiling oncologist (I’m a clean machine!) at my cancer center yesterday and was pleasantly surprised to find the only predominant color scheme was orange, because it seems the entire medical campus is one big construction zone. I’ll leave you with a request from a blog reader, a new version of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”. Go find a DVD of the football movie classic “The Replacements”, and get down and boogie in the endzone…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I


At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
with Black C by my side
But then I spent so many nights
thinking how tans did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
and wear my black
and pink replace
I once checked in and found C here
with that sad look upon my face
I should have shunned that burnin’ sun
I should have known to wear my ‘screen
If I had known for just one second
C’d come ‘round to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with those fries
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as I know how to fight
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my life to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (hey hey)

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my fighting heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to fry
But now I hold my pale up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that drugged up sickly patient
still in fright of you
and if you feel like dropping in
just don’t expect you’ll win with ease
”Cause now I'm saving all my fighting
for someone who's stalking me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to break me with sun fries
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as I know how to fight
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my life to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (oh)

Go on now go, walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to break me with sun fries
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as I know how to fight
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my life to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
I will survive...!

Amidst The Pink

I don’t know about you, but I’m really, really ready for “Pinktober” to end, and I just may have to watch the NFL this weekend in black and white. An upcoming checkup at my cancer center on Thursday could be the end of me-- so if I get there and find the place swathed in pink, I’m turning around and leaving and will reschedule the appointment for next month. I was last there in May and found no mention whatsoever of Melanoma Awareness Month.

I’ll end this rant with a new version of Bob Seger’s “Against The Wind”…

Bob Seger - Against The Wind from Lyubove Dze on Vimeo.

It seems like yesterday
But it was long ago
Tanning was lovely, it was the start of my plight
There in the brightness with my baby oil brazing slow
And the sunscreen that I spared
The bronze look that I grooved
Started a wildfire out of control
Till there was nothing left to burn and tumors left to move

And I remember what docs said to me
How they swore that this never would end
I remember how they drugged me oh so right
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then

Amidst the pink
We are livin' amidst the pink
We are tough and strong, we are livin'
amidst the pink

And the years rolled slowly past
And I found I’m not alone
Surrounded by warriors that now are my friends
I find myself further and further from pink’s throne
And I guess I found my way
There were oh so many roads
I am blogging for fun and hoping to give
Never worry about paying this Hotel how much I owe
Writing eight lines a minute for hours at a time
Stealing all of the songs I can bend
I began to find myself searchin'
Searching for shelter again and again
Amidst the pink
A little something amidst the pink
I found myself seeking shelter amidst the pink

With those pinker days near past me now
I've got so much more to write about
Blogging ‘bout awareness
What to leave in, what to leave out

Amidst the pink
I'm still livin' amidst the pink
Well I'm older now and still livin’
Amidst the pink
Amidst the pink
Amidst the pink

Still livin'
I'm still livin’ amidst the pink
I'm still livin’
I'm still livin' amidst the pink
Still livin'
Livin' amidst the pink
Livin' amidst the pink
See this old man live
Watch this old man live
Watch this old man livin'
He'll be livin' amidst the pink
Let the warriors ride
Let the warriors ride
They'll be ridin' amidst the pink
Amidst the pink ...

We Got The Fire Down Below

Was I dreaming yesterday or did I really see former Steelers coach and now CBS’ NFL analyst Bill Cowher doing a commercial promoting the breast cancer cause in honor of his wife? Nice gesture, Coach, but according to the New York Times she died in 2010 from melanoma. Is the commercialization of “the pink” now so dominant that even a sports celebrity who’s lost his wife to melanoma will jump on that bandwagon?

Yikes, but I guess we at this Hotel need to stick together and not count on any celebrity help to champion our cause. Melanoma is an indiscriminate bastard that strikes people of all ages, sexes (I say all because I don’t want to leave out our transgender friends), tax brackets, and skin tones. We may have but one common and un-chosen bond, but it’s nevertheless a bond of common experiences and interests that we should value and nurture. Melanoma is a sneaky disease that may be lurking dormant within even the most fortunate of us, and we share a deep-down and primal urge to do battle with that beast for our own lives and those of our fellow warriors. In short, we “got the fire down below”. And there just happens to be a great old Bob Seger rocker by that name…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJNxlG-0ZDk


Here comes old Rosie, her scans look mighty fine
Here comes young Nancy, she checked in right on time
Here go UV lights, bringin' on this plight
Here come old men, with scars hidden from your sight
All through this Hotel, ah we come and we go
With only one thing in common
We got the fire down below

Here come the rich man, in his big long limousine
Here come the poor man, both forgot to wear their ‘screen
Here come the banker, and the lawyer and the cop
One thing for certain they ain't never checked sun spots
When nodes all get too heavy
That's when they come and they go (they go)
With only one thing in common
They got the fire down below

Yea, it happens down in Houston, it takes a lot of green
In the clinic halls of Anschutz
New York City’s Sloan Kettering
And it goes on everyday and we’re keeping up the fight
Somewhere there's some doctor that’s treatin' somebody right

And we’re reaching out for Ipi, it’s working mighty fine
And we’re walking the streets for Black C
And we'll take your every dime
And with Black C we’ll bicker, bringing on the fight
Well we'll be slipping out of pinkness, wearing black with pride
Break through to spotlight
Watch us come and beat this foe (let’s go)
With only one thing in common
We got the fire down below
Oh, burnin' down below

Yea, it happens down in Houston, it takes a lot of green
In the clinic halls of Anschutz
New York City’s Sloan Kettering
And it goes on everyday and we’re keeping up the fight
Somewhere there's some doctor that’s treatin' somebody right

And we’re reaching out for Ipi, it’s working mighty fine
And we’re walking the streets for Black C
And we’ll take your every dime
And with Black C we’ll bicker, bringing on the fight
Well we'll be slipping out of pinkness, we’re wearing black with pride
Out from the shadows
Watch us come and beat this foe (oh let’s go)
With only one thing in common
We got the fire down below
Oh, we got one thing in common
We got the fire down below
Only got one thing in common
We got the fire down below
Cancer free!

Sun Bed Mash

It's almost Halloween.  And a certain indoor tanning industry trade association is holding a convention with tanning twits like Snooki and assorted Kardashians in attendance.  Anything for a buck.  So here’s The Hotel Melanoma version of “Monster Mash” by Bobby (Boris) Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers…

I was working in the lab late one night,
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight.
For my patient from his bed began to rise,
And suddenly to my surprise,

(He did the Mash,)
He did the Sun Bed Mash.
(The Sun Bed Mash,)
It was a graveyard smash.
(He did the Mash,)
It takes all of your cash.
(He did the Mash,)
He did the Sun Bed Mash.

(Wah-ooo.)
To my laboratory in the clinic east,
(Wah-ooo.)
From the tanning salons where the sun beds feast.
(Wah-ooo-wah-ooo.)
The fools all came with their swollen lymph nodes,
(Wah-ooo.)
To get a jolt from my Yervoy lode.

(They did the Mash,)
They did the Sun Bed Mash.
(The Sun Bed Mash,)
It was a graveyard smash.
(They did the Mash,)
It takes all of your cash.
(They did the Mash,)
They did the Sun Bed Mash.

(Wah-ooooo.)
The patients were having fun.
(Tenna-shoop, wah-ooo.)
The party had just begun.
(Tenna-shoop, wah-ooo.)
The guests included tan fans,
(Tenna-shoop, wah-ooo.)
Oncologists by the ton.

(Wah-ooo.)
The scene was rockin', all were diggin' the sounds.
(Wah-ooo.)
Doctors on call, back from their teaching rounds.
(Wah-ooo-wah-ooo.)
Sun coffin-sellers were about to arrive.
(Wah-ooo.)
With their vocal group, "The Mole-Kicker Five."

(They played the Mash,)
They played the Sun Bed Mash.
(The Sun Bed Mash,)
It was a graveyard smash.
(They played the Mash,)
It takes all of your cash.
(They played the Mash,)
They played the Sun Bed Mash.

(Wah-ooo.)
Out from the hallway, doc's voice did ring,
(Wah-ooo.)
Seems he was troubled by just one thing.
(Wah-ooo-wah-ooo.)
He opened the door and shook his fist,
(Wah-ooo.)
And said:
"Whatever happened to my Interferon twist?"

(It's now the Mash,)
It's now the Sun Bed Mash.
(The Sun Bed Mash,)
And it's a graveyard smash.
(It's now the Mash,)
It takes all of your cash.
(It's now the Mash,)
It's now the Sun Bed Mash.

(Wah-ooo.)
Now everything's cool, docs are part of the band.
(Wah-ooo.)
And my Sun Bed Mash is a hit for the tanned.
(Wah-ooo-wah-ooo.)
For you, my pale friends, this Mash was meant too,
(Wah-ooo.)
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you.

(Then you can Mash,)
Then you can Sun Bed Mash.
(The Sun Bed Mash,)
And do my graveyard smash.
(Then you can Mash,)
You'll lose all of your cash.
(Then you can Mash,)
Then you can Sun Bed Mash.

(Wah-ooo.)
Mmgrrrr! (Sun Bed Mash.)
(Wah-ooo.)
Mmmash good. (Sun Bed Mash.)
(Wah-ooo.)
Easy, Yervoy, you impetuous new ploy.
(Sun Bed Mash.)
(Wah-ooo, Sun Bed Mash.)
Fade.
(Wah-ooo, Sun Bed Mash.)

Happy Halloween! And thank you Al, host of Black Is The New Pink, for the photo.

A Memo To Melanoma

As I look forward to a trek to see my oncologist next week, there’s something I want to say to melanoma that’s publishable in a PG-rated blog. To the tune of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers’ “Don’t Come Around Here No More”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8


Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Whoever you're looking for
Hey! Don't come around here no more

Ain’t giving up, ain’t giving up
Ain’t giving up on living any longer
Ain’t giving up, on this life stronger

I don't want you any more
Don’t darken my door
Whoever you're looking for
Hey! Don't come around here no more

Ain’t giving up, ain’t giving up
Ain’t giving up, you mangle my emotions
Ain’t giving up, cancer please admit you’re over

Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Whoever you're looking for
Hey! Don't come around here no more

Stop walking down my street
Who do you expect to beat?
Whoever you're looking for
Hey! Don't come around here no more

Benign's Just Fine

No ranting or sermonizing today, just doing a request for a new version of Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock & Roll”…



Just take my old freckles off for health
I can’t go remove 'em all by myself
Today's lesions ain 't got the same soul
I like those old time benign moles
Don't try to make me take that chemo
You'll never even get me into the door
In ten minutes I'll be out on the floor
I like those old time benign moles

Still like those old time benign moles
That kind of report just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With those old time benign moles

Won't go to doctors talkin’ chemo
I'd rather hear some news about normal nodes
There's only one sure way to get me to go
Start talking all fine benign moles
Call me a coward, call me what you will
Say it’s remission, say I don’t need no pills
Today's lesions ain't got the same soul
I like those old time benign moles

Still like those old time benign moles
That kind of report just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With those old time benign moles

Still like those old time benign moles
That kind of report just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With those old time benign moles

Still like those old time benign moles.

More Verses For Nurses

I’ve confessed a time or two in this blog that I’ve been the bane of many a good nurse’s work shift and had them just itching for the shift’s end. So, with renewed apologies to all of you, here’s a request from the host of Melanoma Prayer Center, a new version of the Eagles’ “Witchy Woman”…



Craven stare and frowning lips
Meds fly from her finger tips
Patient calling in the night
She's a restless R.N. in an endless fight

Wooo hooo itchy R.N., see how hard she tries
Wooo hooo itchy R.N., she got the clock in her eye

She kept me bed bound all the night (wooooh)
Threats of restraints if I took flight
Crazy patient in this tiny room
And I drove my nurse to madness... and I made her swoon

Wooo hooo itchy R.N., see how hard she tries
Wooo hooo itchy R.N., she got the clock in her eye

(Ahhhh)

Well I know you’d like to smother,
Bet you’d tell my mother,
I’ve been restless and have lost my head
And there's temptation going round
Put me underground
I can rock you all the nighttime 'til your shift is dead

Wooo hooo , itchy R.N., see how hard she tries
Wooo hooo, itchy R.N., she got the clock in her eye

It's Not "Just For Men"

The fundraising partner of my favorite cancer center is planning a charity event for “women’s cancer”, with a broader scope than breast cancer. I’d argue that melanoma IS a “women’s cancer”, but I don’t know whether these good people yet see it as such.

Through blogs and other social media I’ve 'met' an astounding number of young women (a category which includes all women younger than me) battling Stage III and IV melanoma. And according to The Skin Cancer Foundation, women age 39 and under (REALLY young in my frame of reference) have a higher probability of contracting melanoma than any other cancer except breast cancer. Plus, a recent study published in the Irish Journal of Medical Science indicates that if a woman has had either breast cancer or melanoma she has higher odds of developing the other. Yikes, so how do we spread the ugly truth that melanoma doesn’t “just” strike old boomer white guys like me?

I’ll end today’s rant with a new version of The Kinks’ “Lola”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixqbc7X2NQY


I met it through a doc up near old LoDo
Where you drink scan juice and it tastes not like cherry-cola
C-O-L-A cola
He walked up to me and he showed me my scan
I asked him its name and in a concerned voice he said Mela
M-E-L-A mela me-me-melanoma

Well I'm not the world's most physical guy
But when it hit my nodes it nearly took my life
Oh my Mela me-me-me-lanoma
Well I'm not dumb so I do understand
That it strikes younger women and not “just” old men
Oh my Mela me-me-me-lanoma me-me-me-lanoma

Well she banned sunscreen and tanned all night
Under electric UV light
I picked her up and sat her on my knee
And said little girl won't you listen to me
Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy
But when I looked in her eyes well I almost yelled ‘bout my Mela
Me-me-me-lanoma me-me-me-lanoma
Mela me-me-me-lanoma me-me-me-lanoma

She pushed me away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor
I got down on my knees
Well I looked at her and she at me

Well this is the day that I’ll have my say
And I'll always want it to be that way ‘bout my Mela
Me-me-me-lanoma
Girls will be girls and boys will be boys
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Mela
Me-me-me-lanoma

Well I wasn’t born just a week before
And I’ll never ever diss this cancer no more
’Cause Mela smiled and took me by the hand
And said boomer boy I'm gonna make you hate tan

Well I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm not tan
But not is Mela
Me-me-me-lanoma me-me-me-lanoma
Mela me-me-me-lanoma me-me-me-lanoma

Love The Skin You're In

A fellow melanoma warrior recently suggested a ‘faces of melanoma’ poster, with folks submitting headshots along with a nice close-up photo of their surgical scar (or scars). Great idea for increasing awareness, but I don’t think I’d make a great poster child for this campaign-- my scars are now some of the more attractive features of my old carcass.

Oh well, I still at least like the skin I’m in, so I’ll sign off with a new version of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s “Love The One You’re With”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5IVuN1N6-Y&feature=related


When you're down and infused
And you don't remember who you're talking to
Concentration slips away
Because your discharge, is so far away

Well there's a mole that no doctor loves
That your surgeon cuts in his gloves
And if you can’t be in the skin you love… honey

Love the skin you're in, Love the skin you're in
Love the skin you're in, Love the skin you're in

Don't be angry don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' over those tans you had
There's a drug that’s spanking new
That your insurance might allow for you

And there's a mole that no doctor loves
That your surgeon cuts in his gloves
And if you can’t be in the skin you love, honey
Love the skin you're in, Love the skin you're in
Love the skin you're in

Love the skin you're in, love the skin you're in
Love the skin you're in, love the skin you're in

Turn your heartache right into joy
There’s a med and it’s Yervoy
Get it together, take it tonight,
You ain't gonna need any surgeon’s knife

And there's a mole that no doctor loves
That your surgeon cuts in his gloves
And if you can’t be in the skin you love honey
Love the skin you're in, Love the skin you're in
Love the skin you're in, Love the skin you're in!

A Wail For Pale

I think I speak on behalf of a whole lot of guys in saying that a woman needn’t fiddle around with her natural skin tone to be beautiful. Pretty is pretty, plus it has a whole lot to do with the woman inside. (Although it doesn’t hurt to laugh at our lame jokes and pretend, if need be, that you like to watch sports on TV.) Please, please don’t think you have to sport a tan to be attractive, and save the skin you’re in. Trust me, this Hotel is way overpriced and the accommodations aren’t all that swanky. I made my non-cancelable reservations decades ago as a teenage sun worshiper and lifeguard, but it’s not too late to save today’s teens and twenty-something’s from checking into this place.

I’ll send today’s homily with a new version of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s “Country Girl”…


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPl9IMuhTGA



Winding paths through clinics of glass
First tumors bloom
Now watch the reaper pass
So close to you

Too late to make a change
Too late to pray
No time to save the game
Too young to leave

No check out sign on the door set me thinking
Are Hotel guests paying the price of our skin fling
While docs give us scars and predict when we’re sinking
Folks don’t hear our cries because we don’t have that pink thing

Too late to make a change
Too late to pray
No time to save the game
Too late to make a change
Too late to pray
No time to save the game
Too young to leave

Find out that pale is the answer to cancer
That you’ll get later
She does the things that we all did before now
But who can save her?

If I could stand to see her frying
I would tell her not to dare
When she learns of all your dying
Will she join you there?

Pale skinned girl I think you're pretty
Got to make you understand
Leather skin is to be pitied
Need not be a tanning fan
Got to make you understand
Got to make you understand
Pale skinned girl ...

Spread It Good!

I forgot to apply sunscreen this morning before taking my old pup for a walk, and didn’t wear enough yesterday when playing golf, and got my face slightly fried. I’m looking a bit like Snooki after hormone therapy and a sex change operation. Wouldn’t you think a guy like me would know better? If I don’t pale out before seeing the oncologist in ten days, he’ll personally kick my butt. Yikes. Don’t let this happen to you.

I’ll leave you with a little sun safety ditty, to the tune of Devo’s “Whip It”…



pale that skin
save the skin you’re in
stop sun’s attack
break black cancer’s back
’fore a problem comes along
you must spread it
before your skin sits out too long
you must spread it
so nothing’s going wrong
you must spread it

now spread it
on your face
slap it on
get pale
go forward
move ahead
try to deflect it
it's not too late
to spread it
spread it good

when a sun time comes around
you must spread it
you will never live it down
unless you spread it
no one gets away
until they spread it

i say spread it
spread it good
i say slap it
slap it good

pale your skin
give Black C the slip
stop sun’s attack
break black cancer’s back
’fore a problem comes along
you must spread it
before your skin sits out too long
you must spread it
so nothing’s going wrong
you must spread it

now spread it
on your face
slap it on
get pale
go forward
move ahead
try to deflect it
it's not too late
to spread it
on your face
slap it on
get pale
go forward
move ahead
try to deflect it
it's not too late
to spread it
spread it good

Runnin' Down A Dream

Every guest of the Hotel Melanoma dreams of the day when something approaching a melanoma “cure” is discovered. Realistically, that day is probably a long way off in the future; and perhaps the best we can hope for is a time when melanoma is a chronic, manageable disease that most can live with. The only we thing we can know for sure is that treatment advances won’t come easy or cheap.

So here’s a lyrical “thank you” to everyone involved in doing or supporting melanoma treatment research, to the tune of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers’ “Runnin’ Down A Dream”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1D3a5eDJIs


It is a beautiful day, the sun shines down
We have our SPF on, we are thrivin’
Black’s new pink, Chels and Al are bloggin’
Keep the sun away, we’re not fryin’

Yeah, runnin’ down a dream
That never will come for free
Workin’ on a mystery, goin’ wherever it leads
Runnin’ down a dream

We pray for good, like anything is possible
Did mole patrol and stopped our fries
We pray for days that our cause is unstoppable
It is always bold, pink still shines

Yeah, runnin’ down a dream
That never will come for free
Workin’ on a mystery, goin’ wherever it leads
Runnin’ down a dream

Time rolls on, our moles ain’t dark
We slap the sunscreen on to save our hides
There’s something good, waitin’ down this road
We’re searching for whatever works fine

We’re runnin’ down a dream
That never will come for free
Workin’ on a mystery, goin’ wherever it leads
Runnin’ down a dream

Yeah, we’re runnin’ down a dream
That never will come for free
Workin’ on a mystery, we’re goin’ wherever it leads
We’re runnin’ down a dream

Please support melanoma treatment research!

Addicted To Pale

My guess is that just about everyone who isn’t brain dead would sign up for a lifetime of pale skin to avoid another round of chemotherapy. And one round of chemo would be enough to cause any sentient person (Jersey Shore’s Snooki appears to fall outside this category) to permanently swear off tanning beds. But I suppose it’d be medically unethical to run a “scared pale” program in which something like a sample dose of Interferon was administered to an alleged “tanorexia” sufferer who hasn’t checked into this Hotel. Yet.

All I know is I’m sure addicted to pale, so I’ll sign off with a new version of Robert Palmer’s “Addicted To Love”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE



Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your mind is not your own
Your skin sweats, your body shakes
Another dose will make you quake

You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another dose in store indeed

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh
yeah

It's closer to the truth to say you did this enough, you
know you're

Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to pale

Your vital signs, they’re hard to read
You're runnin' at a different speed
You heart beats in double time
Another dose and you'll be fine, a toxic find

You can be saved
Oblivion is not your crave
If you’ve life left to do
You won't mind a pale you

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh
yeah

It's closer to the truth to say you did this enough, you
know you're

Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to pale

Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale

Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your will is not your own
You're skin sweats and teeth grind
Another dose and you'll be fine

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh
yeah

It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're

Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to pale

Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale
Might as well face it, you're addicted to pale

And by the way, check out the classic music video and the truly gorgeous, pale women featured therein!

I Want My Cancer Free

I think everyone living at the Hotel Carcinoma would agree that cancer sucks, for a whole host of reasons. Among them is that being a patient is expensive, even with the best of insurance coverage. Paying a lot of money for a disease I’d rather not have is a lot like getting dragged to a pricey charity event that I really, really didn’t want to go to and finding a cash bar serving $10 Bud Light as the sole beer selection.

Cancer being nothing anybody would pay for by choice, I can’t think of a better song of the day than Dire Straits’ “Money For Nothing”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwDDswGsJ60

I want my cancer free

Now look at this co-pay how you gonna pay it
You get your cancer and it’s not for free
This ain't workin' like the way you want it
Treatment for nothin' and your docs for free
Now this ain't workin' like the way you want it
Lemme tell ya them docs charge some
Maybe get a billing in the low six figures
Maybe get a bill make you suck your thumb


We gotta got these MRI scannings
Frequent checkups that ain’t for free
We gotta get these PET scans forever
We gotta get these chemo IV’s

See the pricey surgeon cut your cancer with his scalpel
Yeah buddy that’s skill so rare
That pricey surgeon drives a new Mercedes
That pricey surgeon he’s a millionaire

We gotta got these MRI scannings
Frequent checkups that ain’t for free
We gotta get these PET scans forever
We gotta get these chemo IV’s

I shoulda got myself in Congress
I shoulda learned to raise them funds
Look at that Congress, they get their healthcare from the taxpayers
Man we would like some
And they’re up there, how’s that? Ignoring voices?
Hangin' on the lobbyists like a chimpanzee
This ain't workin' like the way you want it
Get your treatment for nothin' get your docs for free

We gotta got these MRI scannings
Frequent checkups that ain’t for free
We gotta get these PET scans forever
We gotta get these chemo IV’s

Look a' here
This ain't workin' like the way you want it
You get your cancer and it’s not for free
This ain't workin' like the way you want it
Treatment for nothin' and your docs for free
Treatment for nothin' and docs for free

Treatment for nothin' and your docs for free

Dream of that, dream of that

Treatment for nothin' and your docs for free
I want my, I want my, I want my cancer free
Treatment for nothin' and docs for free

I want my, I want my, I want my cancer free

For Al

One of my favorite melanoma awareness bloggers and Facebook page hosts, Al, recently posted a silent, but powerful little video on YouTube.

Al may not really want a soundtrack for his video, and it surely doesn’t need one. But I wrote one anyway to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence”, just because I admire what he does in speaking out about a disease that claimed the life of his older brother. No one could fault Al if he’d chosen to bear his grief in silence. But instead he’s channeled it into a tireless awareness campaign about this relatively unknown cancer that’s rarely talked about outside the walls of this Hotel.

Sometimes I feel like there’s a sound barrier surrounding the melanoma community and that our voices aren’t heard in the outside world, but Al’s doing more than his share to breach that barrier. So, Al, here’s one for you…



Hello paleness, our good friend,
I've come to promote you again.
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was grieving.
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains,
To breach the wall of silence.

On restless nights I blog to gain
Informed minds ‘bout Black C’s pain.
'Neath the halo of a desk lamp,
I voice my anger ‘bout those damn sunlamps,
’Cause young folks don’t know ‘bout the risks of those UV lights
That threaten lives.
I breach the wall of silence.

And in this Black C fight I see
Ten million people, maybe more.
People tanning without sunscreen,
People hearing without listening,
People tanning hides like Black C’s oh so rare.
But I have dared
To breach the wall of silence.

"Folks" said I, "You do not know,
Silence lets this cancer grow.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Share my posts so that black’s pink new."
And my words ‘bout Black C’s victims tell
Of despair.
I’ll breach the wall of silence.

Outside, people bowed and prayed
To the UV god they made.
And my blog flashed out its warning,
In the posts that I was sharing.
And my blog said, the words of C’s victims are written on their Facebook walls
To be read by all.
I’ll knock holes in the wall of silence.

Pour Some Sunscreen On Me

According to an article in today’s online US News and World Report, indoor tanning beds may be even more likely to cause skin cancer than previously believed:

“New research published online Oct. 6 in the Journal of Investigative Dermatology suggests that the main type of ultraviolet rays used in tanning beds -- UVA1 -- may penetrate to a deep layer of skin that is most vulnerable to the cancer-causing changes caused by UV rays.”

Yikes.

Please stay out of those things, slap on some sunscreen when you’re outdoors, and rock on to a ripe and pale old age with a new version of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me”…



Step inside, hear my say
You and me babe, hey hey

Tan is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it gone
Livin' like a tanner in the UV zone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a Jersey Shore vamp
Demolition woman, can I stop your tan
Your tan

Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a UV light
Tanning salon lover, baby, you’re a fright
Sometime, anytime, sunscreen is neat
Little miss-a-ignorant, sun screen thee, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sunscreen on me, ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sunscreen on me, c'mon pale me up
Pour your sunscreen on me, oh, I can't get enough
I've got flaky moles from my head to my feet yeah

Listen
Red light, yellow light, green-a-light go
Crazy little woman with a tan bed glow
Mirror queen, mannequin, weathered old glove
Sweet dream, save your skin, pale on up
I paled on up

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Spread a little more
Don’t let melanoma come-a-knockin' on your door
Sometime, anytime, sunscreen is neat
Little miss ignorant, sun screen thee, yeah
Spread a little more

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sunscreen on me, ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sunscreen on me, c'mon pale me up
Pour your sunscreen on me, oh, I can't get enough
I've got flaky moles from my head to my feet yeah

You hear my preachin’, I could just scream
Hate to waste your young skin
'Cause you’ve got, you’ve got, skin so sweet
From your head, your head to your feet
To your feet
Do you use sunscreen, SPF true?

Take a bottle, take a bottle
Shake it up, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up
Break it up

Pour some sunscreen on me, ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sunscreen on me, c'mon pale me up
Pour your sunscreen on me, oh, I can't get enough
Pour some sunscreen on me, oh, in the name of love
Pour some sunscreen on me, get it, come get it
Pour your sunscreen on me, ooh
Pour some sunscreen on me, yeah
Protect me

Everybody Wants To Find The Cure

Just my version of Tears for Fears’ “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0


Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while you sleep
C will find you
Looking for our new drug saviour
Put an end to Black C’s tenure
Everybody wants to find the cure

Black’s our own design
Wear with no remorse
Helps us show our pride
Let’s all make the most of giving and our treasure
Black C will not last forever
Everybody wants to find the cure

Here's a blog where the pink won't blind you
Joining hands so Black C comes tumbling down
When it does I'll be right beside you

So sad we haven’t made it
So mad we will not take it
Everybody wants to find the cure

We can't stand this black derision
Harried with this pink in vision
Everybody wants to find the cure
Say that you'll never never never never need it
No headlines, why believe it?
Everybody wants to find the cure

Let’s be giving of our treasure
Black C will not last forever
Everybody wants to find the cure

It’s pink frenzy season, and I can’t think of a better time to support organizations like the Aim At Melanoma Foundation and the Melanoma Research Foundation by sponsoring one of your fellow melanoma warriors in a fundraising walk or run!

Back In The High Life Again

Just a song for a cure, to the tune of Steve Winwood’s classic…



It always seemed to me
That our lives ran on too fast
And we have to take it slowly
Just to make the good parts last

But when you're born to run
It's so hard to just slow down
But don't be surprised to see us
Beating this Black Cancer down

We'll be back in the high life again
All the doors that closed one time
Will open up again
We'll be back in the high life again
All the eyes that watched us once
Will smile, they saved our skins

And we'll drink and dance while cancer free
Let the world back into we
And oh we'll be a sight to see
Back in the high life again

Cures, we pray to get the best
To make life be life for we
And we hope that they're still out there
And they’ll make us cancer free

We'll have ourselves a time
And we'll dance till the morning sun
And we'll let the good times come in
And we won't stop till we're done

We'll be back in the high life again
All the doors we closed one time
Will open up again
We'll be back in the high life again
All the eyes that watched us once
Will smile, they saved our skins

And we'll drink and dance while cancer free
And have the world so easily
And oh we'll be a sight to see
Back in the high life again

High life
High life
In the high life again

We'll be back in the high life again
All the doors we closed one time
Will open up again
We'll be back in the high life again
All the eyes that watched us once
Will smile, they saved our skins

And we'll drink and dance while cancer free
And have the world so easily
And oh we'll be a sight to see
Back in the high life again

High life
Back in the high life
Oh, we'll be back

A Race For The Dough

Whether we melanoma warriors like it or not, the fact is that the race for cancer research funding is a popularity contest. I’ll resist my lawyerly penchant for providing footnotes for my sources of authority (after all, I’m in recovery) but here are some funding facts gleaned from a couple of hours of research.

► Cancer research spending by the federal government’s National Cancer Institute for each breast cancer death well exceeds spending per melanoma death. And among the five biggest cancer killers (lung, colon, breast, pancreas, and prostate cancer), breast cancer receives the most N.C.I. funding per new case and per patient death.

► The Department of Defense will spend $150 million on breast cancer research this year, but they don’t provide our servicemen and women with sunscreen.

I have absolutely no desire to take away a nickel of government or private spending for breast cancer research (or for any other cancer brand, for that matter). But I will continue to pursue my own little Quixotic campaign to increase melanoma awareness, regardless of how much it might annoy people who’ve yet to check into this Hotel, and I urge you to do the same.

October may be pink cancer awareness month, but let’s “show our style” by using this time as an opportunity to make our cancer just a bit more “popular”. According to the The Skin Cancer Foundation, women aged 39 and under have a higher probability of developing melanoma than any other cancer except breast cancer; and I can’t think of a more opportune time to inform folks of this ugly truth.

I’ll sign off with a new version of The Allman Brothers Band’s (and The Marshall Tucker Band’s) “Can’t You See”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCXQycyN_Vs&feature=related


Gonna end this black reign
All ‘round the nation, lord
I don't care where it goes
Gonna climb a mountain
The highest mountain
I’ll sound off
Somebody gonna know

Can't you see
Woah, can't you see
What Black Cancer, lord
It been doin' to we
Can't you see
Can't you see
What Black Cancer
It been doin' to we

I'm gonna find C
A hole in the wall
gonna crawl inside and die
That cancer, mean ol' cancer Lord
Gonna tell us goodbye

Can't you see
Woah, can't you see
What Black Cancer, lord
It been doin' to we
Can't you see
Can't you see
What Black Cancer
It been doin' to we

I gonna keep a bloggin’ now
As long as I can
Ain't never goin' back
Grab me a soapbox
Seize the day like Komen, now
'Til these songs, they run out of tracks

Can't you see
Woah, can't you see
What Black Cancer, lord
It been doin' to we
Can't you see
Can't you see
What Black Cancer
It been doin' to we

Trying To Reason With Pink Cancer Season

October is a bittersweet month. A time for seeing docs and hoping my luck hasn’t ran out, while celebrating that I’ve come this far. A time for enjoying some last rounds of geezer golf and getting the skis tuned before the snow flies. And a time when the pink cancer world commands center stage, to a degree that will sometimes make me cringe when even NFL players are wearing pink. (By the way, Denver Broncos orange doesn’t look good with much of anything, much less hot pink.) But therein also lies an opportunity for we lonely guests at this less popular brand in the Hotel Carcinoma chain: to remind whomever will listen that it isn’t the only cancer that’s a beastly threat to the women we love. So let’s all go for it.

So as I start to grapple with this month of endings and beginnings, here’s a new version of Jimmy Buffett’s “Trying to Reason With Hurricane Season”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh9qWX0iaxs&feature=related

Leaves turn on the aspen
Checkups come in two’s
I’m nearly in my eighth year
And God it’s run by too soon
Survived and kept my focus
I hoped I wouldn't have to run far
I knew I could use a single malt scotch
So I hustled downstairs to my bar

And now I must confess, I could use some rest
I have run in this race for so long
Yes I’m quite insane, I think I hurt my brain
But they cleaned me out just so I can go on

There's somethin' about this Sunday
It's a most peculiar day
Surfin' through the blogosphere that's known to Black C’s preys
Feelin' mired, then I got inspired
I knew that it wouldn't last long
So all alone I rested my bones
Sat at my desk and then I made up this song

And now I must confess, I could use some rest
I have run in this race for so long
Yes I’m quite insane, I think I hurt my brain
Because they cleaned me out just so I can go on

Well this boy finds bloggin' easy now
Fifty things to write about
It’s pink month in October
But I'm callin' Black Cancer out
It's time to build awareness
It's time to show our style
Though this month we’ll be in gay pink seas
That's a mighty long time to hide

And now I must confess, I could use some rest
I have run in this race for so long
Yes I’m quite insane, I think I hurt my brain
But they cleaned me out just so I can go on

Yes they cleaned me out just I can go on