Oboomercare

I don’t know about you, but all of this pontificating by pundits about the “looming financial crisis” of the boomer generation becoming Medicare-eligible in 2011 et seq. is starting to give me the creeps. After all, my generation and our employers have been paying the Medicare taxes that have funded hip replacements for 90-year-old survivors of the World War II “Greatest Generation” as well as those surplus tax funds ‘sitting’ in the accounting fiction known as the Medicare Trust Fund. If Medicare (and Social Security) hadn’t been operated during our lifetimes as the world’s largest and only legal Ponzi schemes, perhaps the boomers wouldn’t present so much of an impending fiscal crisis. I’m starting to have visions of million of boomers being floated off into artic seas in leaky kayaks upon turning 65, per the solemn recommendation of some future presidential deficit commission. Yikes.

Nevertheless, I’m a patriotic guy and am coming around to thinking that boomer residents of the Hotel Melanoma (and other hotels in the Hotel Carcinoma chain) could be part of the solution. Today I am proposing that both houses of Congress begin hearings on potential amendments to the Obamacare legislation that would provide us with financial incentives not to survive cancer beyond age 65. For example, the Department of Health and Human Services could be directed to establish a new entitlement program giving us free “cancer stamps” redeemable to fund known carcinogenic vices like tanning salon memberships, unfiltered cigarettes, bacon, and fine whiskeys. Just think of the huge potential cost savings if we all succumb to cancer before Medicare is asked to pay for any expensive Stage IV treatment drugs like Ipilimumab!

Please share your own Medicare deficit reduction ideas on my new website, boomers4cancer.org.