The "Hotel Melanoma" moniker is a metaphor for living with my particular brand of cancer. Except for those lucky few of us deemed "cured", all we cancer survivors are guests of one of the many, many branded hotels in the "Hotel Carcinoma" chain. We can check out any time we like, but we can never leave. Meanwhile, let's be livin' it up; and please support cancer education, prevention, and treatment research.

Tutu Brothers

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hopelessly Devoted To You

I’ve now racked up so many “no worries” six-month checkups with my favorite melanoma specialist that I’ve apparently become a boring patient. Although he’s adamant that I still need to be checked out every six months, he’s suggested a couple of times that I could see him just once a year and see one of his faculty colleagues in dermatology in between an annual pilgrimage to the melanoma clinic.

I haven’t changed course because I don’t really see any benefit in alternating my checkups between him and a dermatologist-- if the latter ever found anything amiss I’d be back on the melanoma doc’s doorstep in a heartbeat and accomplish nothing other than having (and paying for) two conversations about the same problem. Plus I so dislike recounting my colorful melanoma history on a first visit to a new doc and seeing that “I can’t quite believe you’re not dead” look. So, as long as I’m above ground and he hasn’t declared me cured and told me I have no continuing reason to be paranoid about a recurrence, I ain’t going nowhere else by choice.

So, doc, to express my devotion to remaining under your excellent care, here’s a new version of Smokey Robinson & The Miracles’ “Tracks of My Tears”…

Doctor says I’m a star at the clinic
'Cause I’ve beat an odd or two
Although I might have fooled some doctor cynics
This is never through

So take a good look at my case
You'll see my file’s run out of space
If you look closer it's easy to trace
The tracks of my fears

I need you (need you)
Need you (need you)

You can boot me and go send me to another doc
Sayin’ that I'm no more fun
Although your point is moot
I will not substitute
Because you’re the permanent one

So take a good look at my case, uh-huh
You see my file’s (run out of space)
Yeah, look a little bit closer
It's easy to trace, oh the tracks of my fears

Oh-ho-ho-ho I need you (need you)
Need you (need you)

Hey hey -yeah
(Outside) no masquerading
(Inside) all my hope ain’t fading
(I’ll hang around) ooo-yeah, ‘til we put this down
Sunscreen is my make-up
I’ll wear ‘til my break-up with you

Doctor, take a good look at my case, uh-huh
You see my file’s run (out of space)
Yeah, just look closer it's easy (to trace)
Oh, the tracks of my fears

Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor
Take a good look at (my case)
Ooo, yeah you see my file’s (run out of space)
Look a little bit closer (it's easy to trace)
Yeah, the tracks of my fears, oh yeah

Doctor, take a good look…

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