Have a Drink on Me

This Saturday is my 12th “cancerversary” of completing biochemotherapy treatments for Stage IIIc melanoma and beginning a very blessed run with no evidence of disease. I so wish I could bottle my good fortune and hand it out by the case to my melahomies. Obviously I can’t, but the drinks are on me Saturday night at the Hotel Melanoma lobby bar.

Hoping that the F.D.A.’s recent approval of Yervoy as an adjuvant treatment for Stage III patients will lead to many, many more treatment success stories like my own, I’ll sign off with my take on AC/DC’s “Have a Drink on Me”…



Frisky, skinned and dandy
With the sass I'm pretty handy
I'm trying to walk the pale line
With panache and cheap rhymes
So join me for a drink, boys
We're gonna make a big noise

So don't worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the check
We'll get Mel to pay

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah, have a drink on me
Have a drink on me (on me)
Come on

Dizzy, ‘drunk’ and fightin'
On the chemo quite frightnin'
My mass will get no quarter
On risky nights of slaughter
So come on and have a good time
And get blinded out of your mind

So don't worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the check
We'll get Mel to pay

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me (on me)
Get stoned

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me (yeah)
Have a drink on me,come on

Oh

Gonna roll around
Gonna hit the ground
Take another swing
Have another drink
Gonna drink it dry
Gonna get me high
Come on all the boys
Make a noise

Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me

Have a drink on me

Fun with Free Skin Checks

As some of you may have surmised from certain unauthorized photos posted on social media, I participated in a melanoma walk last weekend at The University of Arizona Cancer Center in Tucson. (Yes, golf was most certainly a factor in my choosing this particular event, although the way I played down there I don’t know why.) Having arrived at the event with time to kill before walking, I decided to sashay into the dermatology clinic to take advantage of a free skin check. (And with my new sky-high insurance deductible, courtesy of Obamacare, free is a very good thing indeed.) The looks on the faces of various clinic staff members that were ‘attracted’ by my black tutu were simply priceless.

Until next time, I’ll sign off with the Hotel Melanoma rendition of “Daydream Believer” from The Monkees…



Oh, I could hide 'neath the strings
Of the blue gown as she clings.
The skin check doc’s alarm would never ring.
But it rings from my fries,
Wipe the weep out of my eyes.
Thy shavin' razor's cold and it stings.

Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.

You once thought of me
As a white fright on news feed.
Now you know how sappy I can be.
Oh, and our ‘good times’ start and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.

Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.
Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.

Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.
Fear the freebie screen.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a rayscreen believer
And a Sol shunning ‘queen’.

Our Girl

Happy First Birthday in Heaven, my friend! For Donna, to the tune of “My Girl” from The Temptations…



We've got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside we’ve got the month of May
Well I guess you'd say
What can make us feel this way?
Our girl (our girl, our girl)
Talkin' 'bout our girl (our girl)

We've got so much honey the bees envy we
We’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees
Well I guess you'd say
What can make us feel this way?
Our girl (our girl, our girl)
Talkin' 'bout our girl ( our girl ooh)

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooh yeah

We don't need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)
We’ve got all the riches baby her fans can claim (oh yes I do)
I guess you'd say
What can make us feel this way?
Our girl (our girl, our girl)
Talkin' 'bout our girl (our girl)

(Talkin' 'bout our girl our girl) We've got sunshine on a cloudy day
With our girl (Our girl)
(Talkin' 'bout our girl our girl) We've even got the month of May
With our girl (our girl, woah)
She's all we can think (our girl)
(Talkin' 'bout our girl our girl)
Talkin' 'bout, talkin' 'bout our girl (our girl, woah)

For Donna

Too sad and hollow to find the right words of remembrance right now, so just my rendition of James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain”…



Just yesterday evening, they let me know you were gone.
Donna, the fans you made did descend on you.
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,
I just can't remember all the friends of you.
I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,
You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My heart is aching and my soul’s in crash land,
And I won't make it any other way.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

Been walking my mind to an easy time,
My back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the mole wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time, got the megaphone primed, to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams of frying machines in pieces on the ground.

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you lady, one more time again, now.

Thought I'd see you one more time again.
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.

I Love Doctor Mole

I finally stopped procrastinating and made an appointment with my favorite university hospital dermatology clinic (where I don’t compete with tattoo removals and other cosmetic stuff for an appointment slot). So next month it’ll be time to get naked in front of young female dermatology residents who look to me like they’re young enough to be my granddaughters. I should feel sorry for these kids for having to make a close inspection of my tattered and unprepossessing carcass. But I don’t, because they chose this line of work and on completion of their residency training will be making the big bucks. And some melanoma researcher friends have placed dibs on any melanoma tissue samples I may spawn in the future, so if I have a new primary at least some good may come out of this appointment.

Looking forward to having the most fun an old fellow can hope to have in public without risking an indecent exposure charge, I’ll sign off with The Hotel Melanoma rendition of Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll”…



I saw her standin' there by the mole map machine
I knew she must a been about seventeen
Heart beat was goin' strong
Wearin' my fav’ sarong
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till she was with me, yeah me,
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till she was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

She smiled so I got up and asked for her name
That don't matter, she said,
'Cause “Skin Doc”’s nickname
Said can I show you mole where C can be ingrown
An' next we removin' on
She was with me, yeah me
Next we removin' on
She was with me, yeah me singin'

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

Said can I show you mole where C can be ingrown
Next we're viewin' on
She was with me, yeah me
And we'll be viewin' on
An' singin' that same old song
Yeah with me, singin'

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me

I love Doctor Mole
So put some younger eyes on my boondocks, baby
I love Doctor Mole
So come an' take your time an' lance at me