A Service Dog

We lost our beloved Jordan yesterday, after thirteen years filled with an abundance of love and long walks in the nearby woods. He was the dog I never thought I’d outlive. But somehow I did. And I’m just plain shattered by the loss, perhaps because Jordan was such an indispensable part of my physical and emotional healing from surgeries, and biochemotherapy and radiation treatments. Jordie wasn’t formally trained to be a service dog, but boy would he ever have made a fine one. He was a wild three-year old when I underwent biochemotherapy, but when I was so weak I could barely walk he knew it and happily walked me around the cul-de-sac at a snail’s pace. And as the days went by and my strength slowly returned, he’d gradually pick up the pace, lead me onto wooded trails and lengthen our walks. When I was bedridden, he was glad to snuggle in and keep close for hours at a time. I couldn’t have done it without you buddy. And I pray that there won’t be a “next time” when I have to.

For Jordan and all of our canine ‘nurses’ who make life at The Hotel Melanoma so much more bearable, here’s my version of Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World”…



I see trees of green,
Dog noses too.
I see them glued,
At me and you.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue,
And snouts gone white.
The bright blessed days,
The snug canine nights.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

The goldens make the pain slow,
So pretty when they lie.
And also slow their paces,
Their people getting spry,
I see dogs shaking hands.
‘Saying’, "How do you do?"
They're really saying,
"I love you".

I heard puppy’s cry,
I watched him grow,
He learned much more,
Than I'll ever know.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Yes, I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Oh yeah.

Can't Break My Eyes Off Of You

Yesterday’s post was so kindly received by my melahomies of the ocular persuasion that I thought I’d try another one. But this time on the lighter side.

Hoping for some new pharmaceutical breakthrough treatments for ocular melanoma, here’s an ode to OM to the tune of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” from Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons…



You're just too rude to be true.
Can't break my eyes off of you.
You'd be like heaven to bust.
I wanna scold you so much.
At long last drugs have arrived.
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too rude to be true.
Can't break my eyes off of you.

Pardon the way that I care.
There's nothing else to compare.
The fright of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel.
Please let me know that you’ll reel.
You're just too rude to be true.
Can't take my eyes off of you.

I’ll shove you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I’ll beat you baby, and scorn this lonely plight.
I’ll shove you baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh ‘pretty’ baby, don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh ‘pretty’ baby, now that I found you. Pray.

And let me shove you, baby. Let me shove you ...

I’ll shove you baby, and if it's quite allright,
I’ll beat you baby, and scorn this lonely plight.
I’ll shove you baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh ‘pretty’ baby, don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh ‘pretty’ baby, now that I found you. Pray.

Oh pretty baby. Trust in me when I say: Oh pretty baby ...

In Your Eyes

If you’ve ever felt lonely and isolated as a melanoma patient living at The Hotel Carcinoma, try walking in the shoes of an ocular melanoma (OM) patient. According to the Melanoma Research Foundation’s CURE Ocular Melanoma website, “OM occurs in approximately 6 people per million per year, while invasive cutaneous (skin) melanoma occurs in approximately 1 in 50 people per year”. That’s only about 2000 new OM patients diagnosed each year, and if you’re one of them you very likely don’t know anyone else with the disease.

Just about the only thing OM has in common with its cutaneous ‘cousin’ is that it originates in our pigment cells (melanocytes). OM usually starts in the area of the eye called the uvea. OM doesn’t demonstrate the same genetic mutations as cutaneous melanoma, and has its own distinct set of genetic alterations. It generally doesn’t respond well to chemotherapy, so surgery and radiation are the standard first-line treatments. About 50% of OM patients will develop metastatic disease within 15 years of their original diagnosis, and 90% of metastases involve the liver. Once the liver is involved, OM is current incurable. There are currently no FDA-approved treatments for metastatic OM, and that just has to change. Soon.

Even though I’d already been living at The Hotel Melanoma for several years at the time, I don’t think I’d ever heard of OM until a former colleague was diagnosed with the beast and he reached out to me for support. Sadly, by the time he was diagnosed his OM had already metastasized to his brain and he died within a matter of weeks. Please support the efforts of the Melanoma Research Foundation and other organizations to find a cure.

I haven’t walked in the shoes of an OM patient, so please forgive me if I get this one wrong. But for John, and all who have battled OM, here’s The Hotel Melanoma rendition of Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”…



Mel, I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

All fright instincts, they return
And my brave façade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I scream out from the inside

In my eyes (In my eyes) the fright they treat
(In my eyes) I must compete
(In my eyes) I see the doorway (In my eyes) to a thousand cure drugs
(In my eyes) The resolution (In my eyes) of all the fruitless searches

(In my eyes) Oh, (In my eyes) I see the fright that they treat
(In my eyes, the fright they treat) Oh, (In my eyes) I wanna to see this complete
(In my eyes, the fright they treat) I wanna to end the fright, the beast I see in my eyes

Mel, I don't like to see so much pain
So much wasted and the soul mates keep slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to a time past you to keep me still brave and alive

All fright instincts, they return
And my brave façade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I scream out from the inside

In my eyes
(In my eyes)
(In my eyes)
(In my eyes)

In my eyes (In my eyes) the fright they treat
(In my eyes) I must compete
(In my eyes) I see the doorway to a thousand cure drugs
(In my eyes) The resolution (In my eyes) of all the fruitless searches

Oh, I see the fright that they treat
(In me eyes) Oh, (In my eyes) I wanna to see this complete
(In my eyes) I wanna to beat the fright, the beast I see in my eyes (In my eyes)

(In my eyes) (In my eyes) (In my eyes)
(In my eyes)
(In my eyes)
(In my eyes)

Hysteria

Do you ever feel utterly powerless? Like so many others at The Hotel Melanoma, I want so badly to do something to kick melanoma to the curb so that others never have to follow in my footsteps. But I’m not a brilliant oncologist or research scientist, or a rich guy with a foundation. I’m just one lucky survivor with a story and a blog. And I get just a bit manically crazy at times about wanting, somehow and someway, to do more to send melanoma on the highway to hell. This has been one of those weeks. Individually, my reach exceeds my grasp. And it probably always will. But I know I’m so not alone in this manic and evangelistic quest to beat the beast; collectively, we’ll get it done.

For all of you melangelicals who are joining in the fight, here’s The Hotel Melanoma rendition of Def Leppard’s “Hysteria”…



Out of touch
Out of reach, yeah
We should try to get close to defeat
I'm in ‘love’
I'm in deep, yeah
Hypnotized
I'm shakin' to my knees

You gotta know tonight
You’re not alone in fight
Can't stop this feeling
Can't stop this fire

I get hysterical
Hysteria
Oh, can you feel it (Oh can you feel it)
Do you believe it (Do you believe it)
It's such a magical mysteria
When you get that feelin' (When you get that feelin')
Better start believin (Better start believin')
Cause it's a miracle
Say you will, ooh babe
Hysteria when we’re near

Out of we
‘Skin C’s’ through, yeah
We could hide
It's ‘just’ a sunray beast
Oh, I believe I'm with you, yeah
Hopin’ high, that's right
Dream me off my feet
Oh, believe in we

You gotta know tonight
You’re not alone in fight
Can't stop this feelin'
Can't stop this fire
Oh

I get hysterical
Hysteria
Oh, can you feel it (Oh can you feel it)
Do you believe it (Do you believe it)
It's such a magical mysteria
When you get that feelin' (When you get that feelin') Better start believin (Better start believin')
Cause it's a miracle
Say you will
Ooh babe
Hysteria when we're near

Come on

You gotta know tonight
You’re not alone in fight
Can't stop this feelin'
Can't stop this fire

I get hysterical
Hysteria
Oh can you feel it (Oh can you feel it)
Do you believe it (Do you believe it)
It's such a magical mysteria
When you get that feelin',(When you get that feelin')
Better start believin,(Better start believin')
Cause it's a miracle, oh say you will,
Oh babe (Oh can you feel it)
Oh babe (Do you believe it)
Oh (I get hysterical)
Hysterical (Hysteria)
Hysteria (When you get that feelin')
You better believe it (Better start believin')
'Cause it's a miracle
Say you will
Oh baby
Say you will

(Get close to defeat)
Get closer,
Baby
Closer (closer)
Closer (get closer)
Close to defeat

The Handicap Blues

Which is higher these days, my official USGA handicap index or the SPF factor of the sunscreen and golf duds I wear while hacking my way around a challenging mountain golf course that is too tough for my geezer game? I ain’t sayin’. But the way things have been going out there I just might start playing off the ladies tees at some wide open municipal course. Oy.

To the tune of Jackson Browne’s “These Days”…



Well I've been out golfin'
I don't do that much bloggin' these days
These days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the swings that I forgot to do...more true
And all the times I had the chance to

And I am a duffer
And it's so hard to whiff another these days
These days
Now if I seem to be afraid ... to hit the slice that I have played so long
Well it's just that I've been losin' ... fore! It’s gone!

Well I'll keep on movin' ... movin' on
Things are bound to be improvin' these days
One of these days
These days I'll hit on shorter holes
Can’t count the times I’m scorin’ strokes to ten ... my friends
Don't confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them