A Word From The Boss

To the tune of Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSgEDKjmT5o


You'd better pale out
You'd better not fry
Better not sprout
I'm telling you why
Cancer docs are making their rounds
Cancer docs are making their rounds
Cancer docs are making their rounds

They’re mapping your skin
And checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice
Cancer docs are making their rounds
Cancer docs are making their rounds
Cancer docs are making their rounds

He’ll praise you when you’re ‘screening
He knows when you're fake bake
He knows if moles are bad or good
So you'd better be good for goodness sake!

O! You'd better pale out!
You'd better not fry
You better not sprout
I'm telling you why
Cancer docs are making their rounds
Cancer docs are making their rounds
Cancer docs are making their rounds

Black Friday

Wouldn’t it be great if “Black Friday” was about raising melanoma awareness rather than about searching for bargain prices on stuff we don’t really need? Or what if one of the big retailers like Walmart agreed to donate .1% of today’s sales revenues to melanoma research? Personally, I’d rather have another round of biochemo than go anywhere near my local Walmart or the like on this Black Friday. But knowing that I’m (in a lot of ways) out there on the fruitcake fringe of American society, perhaps there’s a way we at the Hotel Melanoma can co-opt this annual day of shopping frenzy for the benefit of our cause?

I’ll leave you with a new version of “California Dreamin’” by The Mamas and The Papas…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN3GbF9Bx6E


All my moles are brown
(All my moles are brown)
And my skin is gray.
(And my skin is gray).
I refuse to shop
(I refuse to shop)
On this Black Friday.
(On this Black Friday).

I'll be safe and warm
(I'll be safe and warm)
Since I’m not in this craze
(Since I’m not in this craze)
Melanoma dreamin'
(Melanoma dreamin') on such a Black Friday.

Stopped in to big box I passed along the way.
Well I got down on my knees
(got down on my knees)
And I began to pray.
(I began to pray).
You know we’d love to share in sales.
(love to share in sales).
’Til then I’ll stay away.
(yes I'’ll stay away).
Melanoma dreamin'
(Melanoma dreamin') on one more Black Friday.

All my moles are brown
(All my moles are brown)
And my skin is gray.
(And my skin is gray).
I ain’t goin’ to shop
(I ain’t goin’ to shop)
On this Black Friday.
(On this Black Friday).

If we do some pleadin’
(If we do some pleadin’)
This could be our day.
(This could be our day.)
Melanoma dreamin' (Melanoma dreamin') on one more Black Friday,
Melanoma dreamin' on one more Black Friday,
Melanoma dreamin' on one more Black Friday.

Molemates

We guests of The Hotel Melanoma share an involuntary, yet extraordinary kinship born of shared experiences, hopes and fears. Back in 2003 when things were quite crazy in my own fight with the beast, I was blessed with the love and support of my spouse, family and friends. But I didn’t know a single fellow melanoma fighter with whom I could “vent” or share some dark humor, knowing they’d “get” what I was talking or laughing about because they were walking, or had walked, in my shoes. Consequently, I often felt quite alone in a crowd of well-meaning and supportive, but largely clueless loved ones. And that was entirely my own fault, because I’d made no effort at all to reach out and find a support network of other guests of this Hotel. But, oh my, how things have changed since I came out of my room and met some of the other guests at this place.

With thanks and gratitude to all of my new pale friends and ‘molemates’, here’s a Thanksgiving version of Pink Floyd’s “Us And Them”…



Us, not them
And after all we're more than ordinary friends
Me, and you
God only knows it's not what we would choose to do
Forward we strive for more years
No more tanning hides
In the cool shade we sat, with sunscreen by the vat
Spread from side to side

Black’s our hue
And we know pale’s so rich and pink’s not new
Ups, some downs
But in the end it's only round and round and round
Haven't you heard it's our battle for cures
We Black C warriors cried
Listen son, said those fools in the sun
There's fun for you outside

Down, not out
It can be helped but there's a lot of this about
With, some clout
And who'll deny it's what our fighting's all about
Out of the way, it's a scanning day
I've got things on my mind
For lack of our slice of research’s price
This cancer’s thrived

Take It From Dr. Bob Dylan

To the tune of Bob Dylan's “Lay, Lady, Lay”…


Bob Dylan Lay Lady Lay by FISHNCHIX2

Stay, lady, stay, stay away from those tan beds
Stay, lady, stay, stay away from those tan beds
Whatever colors you have in your mind
I'll show pale to you and you'll look quite fine.

Stay, lady, stay, stay away from those tan beds
Stray, lady, stray, stray from your tan awhile
Until the end of days, let me see you make docs smile
Black C is dirty but your scans are clean
And use the best ‘screen that you’ve ever seen.

Stray, lady, stray, stray from your tan awhile
Why wait any longer for your pale to begin
You can save your skin and look like new
Why wait any longer for the ones you love
When they’re standing in front of you.

Stay, lady, stay, stay away from those tan beds
Stay, lady, stay, stay while your life is still ahead
I long to see you without cancer’s plight
This song’s to preach to you tan ain’t right
Stay, lady, stay, stay while your life is still ahead.

Idiopathy

For the last eighteen months or so I’ve been seeing an eye doc about a retina problem that may or may not have anything to do with anything else. (These visits are sort of a “fountain of youth” experience for me, as I’m probably the clinic’s only non-Medicare patient, and the only guys my age I see there are wheeling their very elderly parents in for cataract surgery or the like.) I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be something in the Hippocratic Oath that prevents a doc from saying he’s clueless about the cause of a problem-- instead, he tells me it’s “idiopathic”, which is doctor-speak for “I don’t know why this is happening”. Look it up.

But, you know, given what could be causing the problem but most likely isn’t, perhaps I should chalk this up as one more thing to be thankful for?

Which reminds me of a song, Jackson Browne’s “Doctor My Eyes”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqFUmo8VVg0&feature=related


Doctor, my eyes have seen eight years
And a slow parade of fears without dying
Now I want to understand

You have done all that you could
To swap the evil for the good without lying
You must tell me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise for getting toxic for so long

'Cause I have wandered through C’s world
And as each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams
Cancer goes just where it will
I never realized that until I got to reading
That it's sneakier than it seems

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
Just tell no lies
Just say if meds weren't great for me

Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see balls fly
Is this the PRICE for having learned how not to slice